I saw this quote on Pinterest yesterday: "I want my children to have all the things that I couldn't afford; then I'll move in with them. Now I know that the author, as well as the "pinner", are being humorous, but I thought a lot about this quote throughout the day. Is this what people really want for their children? Do most parents really want to give their kids everything? I don't. I grew up with all the necessities and some comforts. We were lucky enough to go on a vacation every year, have our own bedrooms growing up, and as far as I knew, we really didn't "worry" about money monthly (everybody worries about money).
But I also didn't have a lot of things. My parents never threw us extravagant birthday parties. Cake, ice cream, and a slumber party was just fine. We didn't get everything that we wanted, in fact, the only time we really got anything other than what we needed were birthdays and other gift giving holidays. We hardly ever went out to eat, but when we did it really was exciting and a treat. My parents didn't buy any of us a car, pay for our college, or hand us money when we wanted to go out with friends. We had to earn those things.
I never thought for one second that my parents should have to pay for these things. That just wasn't how we were raised. I got a job a month after my 16th birthday and have had one ever since.
My husband and I have a wonderful house, amazing jobs that we love (thanks to the mountain of financial aid debt we have accrued), two cars that were new when we bought them, and we did it all without financial support from our parents. I think that not having their help was the best gift they could have ever given me! I know what my money and hard work is worth. I don't spend money on silly things, because I have always had to support my "wants" by myself. I learned that my debt, is my debt and that I have to work for what I want. I thank my parents for helping me see that all important life lesson.
I want my children to have what they need, and be thankful for having them. No one has had to take care of me, and I'm proud of that. I will be extremely proud, if my children can say the same when they are my age.
Yes! Good for you. It is so hard in today's world to stay focused on raising our children to be independent and have them work for things they want. I remind myself daily that we are not in the busines of raising children...but rather, of raising adults. I heard that once and try & live by it! Sounds like you do, too.
ReplyDeleteI see so many "adults" who act as though they are still children in the sense that they still rely on their parents financially. I think that it is great to help your children, but if you go too far, your kids will never grow to be independent and self-sufficient (which are words I believe should be IN the definition of "Adult").
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