Monday, June 29, 2015


Yesterday, I attended a baby blessing for a third-time-mommy, but a first-timer for having a bouncing baby boy. Each guest was asked to bring a blessing, poem, or advice rather than gifts. I had never been to a baby blessing before, and I have to say, it was pretty wonderful. Instead of surrounding the mommy with gifts, she was surrounded with support. It felt heartfelt and powerful. Before heading to the get-together, I spent many hours thinking about what I would like to share about being a mommy of boys. I wanted it to be worth reading.

The writing process required me to think long and hard about my boys: what they do, who they are, and what our daily lives look like. It also made me think about me as their mommy: what I have learned, what I do, and how they have changed me. It was so therapeutic to reflect on these things. Writing the note was for my friend, but it ended up being for me as well. By the end, I was in love with what I came up with.

Here is what I had to say about being a mommy to boys:

As a mommy of two boys, I have a one-sided perspective on what it is like to raise children. I have no personal comparisons to be made between boys and girls, but I can share what I know of my boys and what I have learned while being their mommy. They are bold, and energetic, and exceptional. Boys do things differently.

They talk incessantly about topics which little girls see as gross. You can probably guess what topics, however, I think that it's only fair that I give you some examples: things that (should) take place in the restroom, bodily functions, and their rear ends......let's be honest, the word "butt" is used a great deal. They are loud. Everything that comes out of their mouth is decibels above the socially acceptable noise level in any given situation. They also say, "I love you", and "Mommy", and "Good Morning" in the sweetest way. They ask thoughtful questions, and they make jokes and silly faces that will make you smile on even the worst of days.

They are physical. They punch, hit, pinch, and/or kick whatever/whoever is near when they are angry, frustrated, happy, or excited. Really, whenever they feel any emotion at all. They also wrestle as their main method of play. It isn't fun until someone gets hurt. Although they may feel the need to work through their aggression in a physical way, they forgive and forget quickly and deeply. They give the biggest hugs and kisses, and they protect their loved ones with a fierce and unwavering sense of duty.

They are messy and sneaky. Everything they find amusing requires a lack of safety and/or a predetermined number of "No's" associated with it. No matter what project or activity you set before them, they will find a way to make it into a soap and water after-party for mom/dad. They also teach you to live in the moment. Not worrying about the mess, but watching them learn and grow. To see joy in little things, like how ants are swarming the discarded goldfish cracker or how the paint looks so very different on the hardwood floors than it does on the window in the kitchen. To be curious. To find the answers to the seemingly random questions- that are really well thought out and vitally important.

They are self involved and impulsive.Tantrums come anytime they do not get their way. They want what they want, and they want it now. The world has always, and will always revolve around them. Until it doesn't. One day, they will surprise you with the level of compassion they feel toward others. When it is most needed, yet not asked for, they will show they care in a way that only they can. They are instinctive and insightful, and use these super powers in the most unexpected and wonderful ways.

Your son will challenge you. He will change you and your family. He will help his siblings become the individuals they are meant to be. He will help you become the parents and people that you are meant to be.

I am completely biased, but boys are simply fantastic.

Two very special boys and their thankful mommy