Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Efforts Not Rewarded

For the past three years I have been working on earning a reading specialist endorsement. This has excited my building's administration, who have been following my progress closely for over a year now. About a month ago I finished my last class and took the Praxis (which is a required test to earn the endorsement). Unfortunately for me, I did not pass it to Oregon standards the first time. Because both principals have voiced interest in moving me to a specialist position once the coursework is done and the test passed, I felt more than a little pressured to pass the test before the next school year.
This is why, the second that I found out that I had not passed, I signed up for the next one offered. There are only two more options before September, and I wouldn't get the scores back for the last one until a week before school starts. I wanted to give myself the best chance for passing before they needed me. Today, all of that changed. We've known for about a week that we will be cutting some programs/positions due to the budget projected for next year. Unfortunately for me, one program they will be "scaling back on" are reading intervention classes.
This means that the work that I have done, the stress that I have felt, the pressure that I have put on myself, was not at all needed. I have at least another year before there will even be the possibility that I will use the degree. It's not only frustrating because I have been expecting a new focus for quite a while (with admin. reassurance), but I'm also frustrated specifically about the next test that I am now signed up for. It just happens to fall on the day/time of my mom's college graduation. When I thought people were relying on me and that there was a time schedule, I was frustrated, but willing to take the test that day. But now that none of that is happening, I'm more than frustrated.
I've already looked into canceling the session, but in perfect ETS fashion the deadline has passed and at this point, I would pay for the test either way. I still want the degree for myself, and would re-take the test either way, but I would not have chosen the day of my mom's graduation and would not have been so stressed had I known this would be the situation. I do not blame the administration at all. I would much rather they "scale back" a bit on some things than loose people, days, or programs all together. It just would have been so nice to know a while back, so that I wouldn't be missing an important moment in my mom's life. : (

No comments:

Post a Comment