Meeting Maylee

Today was such a special day for our family. We met our fifth member for the first time and it was such a wonderful experience! We made the morning busy on purpose, knowing that too much downtime would lead to too much thinking and worrying and anxiety. We woke up at 5:30 am (me much earlier),  headed to breakfast at 6:30, then had to meet our taxi driver in the lobby at 8 am. Our meeting wasn't scheduled to begin until 10 am, but we were not going to be late for this. The taxi ride only took about 20 minutes, so we were way early.

Just as in Yeouido, nothing was open this early except a Krispy Kreme donut shop in a mall a couple of blocks away. We went in, ordered some fancy donuts, and enjoyed the quiet of the empty restaurant. We then walked through the outdoor mall, enjoying the umbrellas above and the flowers around us. At about 9:30 we headed back to Holt. We went in, went up to the 2nd floor and met the wonderful staff who have been responsible for the Korea side of our adoption process. They were all so lovely and helpful.

After we completed some paperwork, more families started filing in. After a bit, everyone was done with their paperwork and it was time to head to our meeting space- the playgroup playrooms. It was a long walk, not only because we had to go down several flights of stairs, across a street and down the block, but also because we knew Maylee would be waiting at the end.

When we entered the room, it was like a wall of love and excitement hit everyone at once. Our foster mom instantly recognized us and called us over. She immediately began ushering Maylee toward us, telling her to say hello to her eomma (mommy), appa (daddy) and oppa (big brothers). She looked confused, but didn't look scared or sad. Her foster mom told me to sit on the couch next to her and continued to try to introduce us.

Within just a couple of minutes we were told it was time to move into the playgroup rooms. This was great as families usually meet their children in a big banquet-type room. The playgroup room offered toys and a more private space. We shared our playgroup room with one other family (also from Oregon!) and we were each introduced to our translator.

Until today, I was so worried about a few aspects of our first meeting-well, actually, many aspects, but a couple were whether or not it would be awkward to talk to the woman who has been raising our daughter. I also worried about our ability to communicate effectively, while also putting all our time and effort into our daughter. I shouldn't have worried about these things for a single second. Our foster mom is AMAZING and the translator was so helpful. It felt comfortable the entire time.

We were also worried that both our foster mom and our daughter would be very serious people, based on the smile-less photos we have received. We were pleasantly surprised that both laughed and smiled almost the whole time. Maylee's foster mom has a great sense of humor and Maylee has so many facial expressions- including smiling and laughing!

We began our meeting by giving Maylee her Christmas gifts. She was not interested in the dress, pjs, or stuffed deer, but she was however interested in all the snacks. They were a lifesaver! Passing around yogurt melts and puffs was how she began to warm up to us. It started with Liam and Nolan, then led to Joe and I. After some snack sharing, Maylee and the boys went up and down a slide into a ball pit. Maylee passed ball after ball to Nolan, while he threw them into the air. This was our first glimpse at the future of their relationship and we loved it.

As we followed Maylee around trying to interact with her when she would let us, we also continued to ask her foster mom questions about her. We are so thankful to her foster mom, as she came to our meeting with a notebook full of very specific notes that she thought we would want to know- like Maylee is POTTY TRAINED! She also flipped through her phone, showing us photos of Maylee's second birthday and other special days. She then told us that she is filling a flash drive for us, so we will have photos of her time with them. This will be amazing for us, but I love that we will be able to help Maylee's memories of Korea stay fresh and easy to recall.

About halfway through our time together, we noticed Liam had moved to a different area of the room. When I went to check in with him, he said that he was a little sad that Maylee wasn't playing with him and that he was sad that we were spending all of our time with her. When I reminded him that she was scared and nervous when we came and that she may be ready to play now, he got right up and walked over to try again. She still wasn't super receptive, so after a couple of attempts, Liam wandered off again. I checked in with him once again, when he told me that he was okay but wanted to just sit in the ball pit for a bit. After our meeting Liam continued to talk about Maylee in a positive, excited manner. I think that the situation was just overwhelming for him and he didn't quite know how to process it at the time.

When Liam decided to sit in a quiet space, I rejoined Maylee and continued to chat with her foster mom. Although Maylee in no way wanted us to touch her, she was very receptive to play and other interactions. She would give the boys high fives and continued to share her snacks throughout the meeting.

Toward the end of our time together, Maylee began asking about her foster sister, who was meeting her family in the playgroup room next door. We were told we could head over there to see them interact and so the foster mom and dad could finish the visit together, as they had split their time between our family and her little sister's. It was so adorable to watch Maylee interact with her foster sister! They gave each other hugs, and shared snacks and toys. As we walked away from our sweet, sweet Maylee Grace we waved our goodbyes and she waved back, with her sweet, tiny, perfect hand, she waved back.

The end of the meeting was not quite as hard as I thought it would be. It was so hard to leave our little girl, don't get me wrong, but we know we will see her Wednesday, we know that she is so loved and cared for by her foster family, and we know that someday soon she will be leaving this wonderful home that she knows. Her time here, with this family, is short and I am so thankful that she gets more time with them. More time to love them and be loved by them. More time to play with her little sister and share her toys and snacks. More time to make memories of Korea that she will cherish forever. Our time with her is coming so so soon.