Our Day In Court

Yesterday was a nerve-wracking, terrifying and amazing day. We all slept in- I made it to 5:30 and the boys were 7. We are finally finding our internal clocks here in Seoul. We knew we had all morning, so we didn't rush anything. We relaxed in bed, watching cartoons, took long showers and headed up to breakfast around 8:30- the latest we have gone since arriving. The restaurant was far more crowded at this time, but we still had no problem being seated right away.

Court ready!

After breakfast we went back to our room. We still had about two hours before we needed to head to Holt, so we continued being lazy. But this is when my nerves began to kick in. We were going to court. We were going to meet the judge who ultimately gets to decide if we are the right family for our sweet girl. She would ask us questions, to which we had some idea, but there were so many possibilities that it would be impossible to have prepared answers for all of them.

I quickly realized that, to get through today, I would have to find a way to stay busy. So I shifted my focus to getting ready. After I was ready to go, it was time for the boys. Baths, dressing, combing and bow ties later, they were ready as well. Just in time to head down to meet our taxi.

The ride to Holt offered a great, yet horrifying distraction. Although it is law here that children under 6 be in a car seat, apparently that is in no way enforced, so since arriving in Seoul the boys have just been sitting in the regular car seats with the regular seat belt to keep them safe. Obviously, not my favorite. I sit between then with my arms acting as a second seat belt on every car ride. This drive was so much worse than any other we have experienced here. The driver was the worst! He almost side-swiped other drivers several times, was driving 40 in a 70 speed zone and crossed lanes of traffic in a straight line- like we were perpendicular to the cars on either side of us. Eek! So scary.

Once we arrived at Holt, and took big sighs of relief that we had made it, we walked to a McDonald's which is a couple of blocks away. This was an important day, and we wanted to help the boys to behave at their best throughout it. The number one thing that affects Nolan is a hungry tummy, so we knew eating just before leaving for court would be very helpful.

After eating we headed to Holt to meet the other families also attending court. The lobby filled up quickly with the six families that were meeting at Holt to ride to court together. Three other families would meet us at the court house, as their hotels were close. The drive to court was faster than we had expected and playing an "I Spy" game with Nolan helped to pass the time.

When we got to court we were told to take out our passports and were ushered through metal detectors, then into an elevator. After finding our floor, we were told to take a seat in a hallway with chairs lining it. I am so thankful for the other families waiting with us, because our conversations before entering court made time go by without too many nerves hitting. But then, we were told we would be next.

As we entered the courtroom, an overwhelming feeling of calm came over me. We have been waiting for this day for 14 months, and it was here. As we sat down, Nolan noticed a computer and the microphone. He spent the entire meeting trying to touch them. No one seemed to mind and the judge began asking us questions immediately. Some were ones we had prepared for, a couple we had not expected, but were easily answered. Then the judge directed a question to the boys. "Are you ready to welcome a sister?" Liam's response was wonderful! "Yes, but I am a little afraid of dolls, so kind of."

The judge and translator laughed at his answer and then went right back to questioning us. It lasted maybe five minutes and we were asked 8-9 questions. As the judge asked the last question, we could tell in her tone that the mood had changed a bit. The translator began, "Up until this point, everything looks good and in order........" - cue long, ominous pause. My heart rate sped up. Then she continued, "The judge wants to know that she will not be abandoned again, so she needs you to swear that you will love and care for her forever. We both answered, "Absolutely" and that was that. It was a painless process and the judge was professional and warm. We shouldn't have worried about this piece for a second.

The Court Crew

We walked out into the hallway, surrounded by other families who, although there for their own court appearance, for that moment were there for us. There is no feeling in the world like being surrounded by people who feel every single thing you feel, as the exact same moment. It is strange and incredible how quickly these bonds are made and how tight they hold.

Although we were the third family to go out of nine and we were told we could leave after our appearance, we opted to wait and support our friends as they went before the judge. When we had all finished, we had a very quick question and answer session with our Holt chaperone/translator/goddess. At this point we were told that custody would be around four weeks from court, if there would be no public notice and six weeks from court if there was. We are so hoping for four weeks!

We all left the courthouse together, walked to nearest subway station, and all piled on the same train. Once back at our hotel, we needed a long rest. Although we didn't DO much, it was yet another emotionally draining experience. Joe and I reflected on the questions asked, our answers, how amazing our boys had been the entire day, and our overall experience.

Yum!

After a bit, we decided to celebrate making it through our biggest outing in Seoul with another round of Korean BBQ. We were told of a place right across the entrance of our hotel, so wandered that way, got lost, found it, and were then promptly told they only take reservations. We then headed down to the mall to find something else, because it was far too cold to wander the streets and we were all too hungry to wait. We found a Korean BBQ restaurant in the mall. It was good, but nothing like the real things we had experienced the day before.

Round Two: Korean BBQ

With court behind us, today we get to enjoy a guided tour of Seoul. This tour will be led by a student volunteer (usually in their early twenties) who wants to practice their English. This will be the first time we will have access to someone who knows the city very well, and can easily communicate with us, so we know it will be a wonderful way to experience Seoul.

Korean BBQ and Namdaemun Market

Nolan loved his salad

Liam loved it all!

After seeing our sweet girl for the second time, we met us with two other families who are here to meet their babies as well. We went to a Korean BBQ restaurant that was absolutely amazing! The waitresses brought over side dish, after side dish of yummy things to try. Then came the hot coals and a bit later, the meat to cook on them.

We all loved the experience of sitting on the floor, having the food cooked on the table in front of us, and creating our own lettuce wraps full of yummy things from all over the table. The food was delicious, and we had a wonderful time visiting with other families who "get" all that we are feeling, and processing, and hoping for.

Namdaemun!

Friends bonded through babies
and Korean BBQ

When we finished up, we headed back to the hotel for a rest. Everyone was exhausted from another busy morning. After resting for a bit, we decided to head to Namdaemun Market- another thing at the top of our "To Do" list. We packed up and headed to the subway.

Namdaemun is amazing! Alley, after alley, after alley of things to purchase and eat. Although it was an overwhelming sight, we were not at all overwhelmed by the market. I'm sure watching so many YouTube videos about the places we are visiting has helped us to feel more comfortable and confident in our ability to find our way.

Tteok-bokki!

Within steps of the subway station, we found our first snack, tteok-bokki- rice cakes in a spicy sauce. So yummy! As we walked around the first few stalls, we found a great deal of bulk items- chopsticks, magnets, dolls, key chains, etc. We continued into a section with a lot of fabrics and some warmer winter clothing. There were sections for spices, kitchenware, stationary, seafood, etc. The items seemed endless.

Korean Pancake!

We found more yummy snacks like Korean Pancakes filled with sugar, cinnamon and nuts, and Kogo (Korean corn dog). Within feet, we found a lovely smelling bakery stall and we couldn't pass up the donuts. We continued wandering the aisles, looking for hidden gems. Although we found many items, we have already planned to do a "Market Tour" on Saturday, so we held off buying anything (other than food).

More Namdaemun

At this point, the boys were so tired they could barely walk, so we decided to head back toward the subway. About halfway there we found one of my must-tries, egg bread! Of course we had to get one. It was the absolute best thing I have eaten since coming to Korea. I'm drooling just thinking about it!

Kogo!

Right before getting back to the subway entrance, we noticed that we had found the children's clothing area. Maylee's FM had mentioned that she is in need of bigger shoes at our last meeting and had requested that we bring her some on Monday, when we have our last visit.

Korean Donut

Egg Bread Heaven!

At our very first stop we found a super cute, warm pair of boots. We got them for 8,000 won, less than $8! As we made the loop back to the subway station, I found many, many more items that I need to get before we head home. So many cute things for our littles!


We made it back to our hotel, got a pizza, and went to bed early. We knew that the next day would be a busy, important, and draining day, so we knew we would need all the rest we could get.

Maylee's new boots

Making Steps

Yesterday was the best day we've had in Korea, so far!

We woke up, me early, but the boys were able to sleep in a bit. We went up to breakfast, then got ready for our second meeting with Maylee. I was bit nervous, because I have heard from several families who have been her, in this place in the adoption process, who have said that meeting #2 was harder than the first. That their children realized something was happening and fought against it and them. When we got to our meeting place, Maylee wasn't there yet, but her little sister and foster dad were. This too made us a tad worried. Where were they?

A few minutes later she and her foster mom stepped off the elevator. She smiled and waved at us right away, but then cowered and snuggled FM when we all reciprocated. We followed them into the same playgroup room as Maylee's FD and sister. We started by giving her a bag we had gotten her a Lotte World. Her FM had told us in our previous meeting that she loves to fill bags with toys and carry them around. At first she wanted nothing to do with it, but then picked it up and put the toy phone she brought with her into it and carried it away.

I followed her to a shelf filled with toys and tried my best to interact with her while she picked them out. All the while, the boys had found a giant MegaBrick fort and were playing quietly. They would come over periodically to check in and attempt play, but Maylee is very independent and tends to shrug them off. Although this kept happening, both boys were so understanding and patient.

Just a few minutes into our meeting, a member of Holt staff came in to tell us that Maylee was diagnosed with the flu and that we need to try to keep the boys away from her, so they don't get sick. Then she told us that they didn't want Maylee to get anyone else sick, so we would need to go back to the Holt building, so we could visit alone. We walked the couple blocks back, with Maylee's coat's bunny ears flopping adorably as she walked.

Once in the new room, everything calmed down quickly. With no distractions, just us, Maylee warmed up immediately. She began interacting with us as though she has known us forever (not like parents of course, but people she is comfortable with). She walked up to Joe, handed him a water bottle, and called him "appa"! This is huge! She recognized him, said it out loud, and initiated contact with him. They then began blowing bubbles together, which was the most adorable thing.

While Joe and Maylee were playing, I was chatting with FM through a Holt staff member who was translating for us. We learned that Maylee is a huge eater, is very smart, is independent, sleeps well, is very organized, and does not like to share. FM also said that Maylee had talked about us non-stop after our last meeting. Repeating "eomma, appa, oppa" over and over again. We saw a lot of these traits in out meetings. She LOVES snacks, picked up on games very quickly, but wanted to do things- even hard things, herself. She also always knew where the snacks, blocks, and bubbles were.

After a bit. I moved closer and Maylee gestured that I should hold the bubble bottle for her. We played with bubbles for quite a while, her trusting me, yet not. She squealed any time I held the bottle too long, or she felt as though I would take them away- like when the wand got close to her lips and I tried to help her bring it out a bit. That girls tasted a lot of bubble solution.

She then moved back to snack and then stacking blocks. She let Joe pick her up, so she could reach the top. Another huge step! After being a successful block-stacker, she headed back to the toy bin, where she tripped. She got stuck on her back, as only toddlers do and reached for me to help her up. She REACHED for me! She did this once in our first meeting too, but that seemed to be more out of need. I was the only one near her then. This time, foster mom was sitting next to me.


Soon our playtime was over. Our little girl had made such big strides in bonding with us. We know that we will have a very long way to go, but with having two very good meetings and making such big progress already, we are feeling so much more confident in our ability to support her during her grief and the transitions that lay ahead of all of us.

There were still no hugs and picking her up was totally on her terms only, but we feel so relieved at both of these things. We are actually so thankful that she is showing concern and not jumping right into comfort. These are signs that she would attach with anyone or no one at all. The fact that it is happening slowly is actually great. It means that she can make healthy attachments, which always take time.

After out meeting, we met with another member of Holt staff to discuss court. She told us what we will need to bring, wear, and prepared us for some questions which may come up. Nothing was a surprise to us, as we have read everything we can about this topic and asked questions of friends who have walked this path before us.

There was so much more to yesterday and I will write another post later today about or wonderful lunch with our friends and our visit to Namdaemun Market, but for now I feel the need to close my computer, review my answers for the questions that could be asked in court, and to just be.

Shockingly, I slept until 5:30 this morning, and with this post on my mind, the thoughts and nervousness of court has just hit. Yesterday was the best day ever, today I'm a nervous wreck. Wish us luck!

Nolan's Big Birthday: Lotte World

Another day, another 4:45ish wake up. Time to tell you all about Nolan's super special fifth birthday here in Seoul:

Our day began a bit later than the days before. The boys slept in to almost seven. Huge progress! When Nolan began stirring, I quickly found all of his gifts, hidden throughout the suitcases. Once all were found, we began singing Happy Birthday and laid his gifts out on the bed. His smile was so filled with excitement and surprise, it was just the best!

After opening and playing with his new toys for a bit, we got dressed and headed down to breakfast. We ate quickly, knowing that our taxi would be arriving soon to take us to Lotte World, an indoor, children's theme park. We have been talking about visiting this place since the day we knew we would be traveling to Korea. We had no idea at the time, that the day our visit would fall on would be Nolan's big 5.

The taxi ride was longer than our others, about 45 minutes, but it was nice to be warm and know that we would make it there soon. We have made great progress with the subway, but if we are headed somewhere important, where time is of the essence, we have opted to take a cab instead.

When we entered Lotte World the boys lit up! Their eyes and smiles were twice their normal size. Coming into the main area is very surreal. It is gigantic. Aspects of it look like a mall, other parts remind me of Disneyland. All of it is pretty cool.

We wandered around for a bit, taking it all in. We tried a couple of rides, but each one has it's own opening time and several were still closed. We finally came to the carousel, one of Nolan's all-time favorite rides, and hopped on. We continued to wander the massive building, finding rides and attractions hidden in corners. Everyone, except Liam, loved a ride called Sinbad's Adventure. He was not a fan of the drops or the dark. The ride was similar to Pirates of the Caribbean.

We got lunch, went on rides, saw shows, ate ice cream and did a lot of people watching. We spent all day exploring the building, spending such a great day together. We left Lotte World in the early evening, knowing that the boys' energy would be fading fast. After returning to our hotel, we unpacked from the outing and asked Nolan what we wanted for his special birthday dinner. Of course, he said Taco Bell. We have yet to find a Taco Bell here, so we talked him into the Mexican restaurant in the mall.

While at dinner, Joe and I had the realization that, although our boys have been amazing troopers for this entire trip, yesterday was by far their best behaved and happiest.

After dinner, we stopped at dessert stand and Nolan picked out a piece of cheesecake for his birthday cake. When we got back to our room, the boys ate their treats and turned on a movie. We were all happily exhausted from one of our favorite days in Seoul. While I was changing for bed in the bathroom, Liam ran to the door to tell me that fireworks were going off on the river, just below our window. While watching the spectacular show, Nolan made the comment that the fireworks must be for his birthday. We have no idea the real reason, but it was a very special coincidence, that I hope he remembers just this way forever.

"Hey, remember that really special birthday in Korea, when they did a firework show, just for me?!"

Although we loved Lotte World, there were some things we wish we would have known before going.
Here is a list of some advice/information we would like to pass on for others who may go there in the future:

1. It's cold! We all wore our lightest sweaters and T-shirts, thinking it would be nice and warm inside. The boys seemed fine, but I was freezing the entire time. I'm not sure if the reason is the massive ice rink in the middle of the park, or if they just choose not to heat the building and it's winter. Everyone else seemed to know, because they were still wearing their big winter coats while going from ride to ride.

2. Check the heights for riding before you go. We tried to do this, but were unable to track it down. Most of the rides have a height requirement of 110 cm. Nolan was just shy of that, so we were turned away from ride after ride. I was worried the second time it happened. but he took it like the big boy he is now and moved right along to the next one. Eventually, we found a map that listed all the rides and their height requirements, so that we could just avoid them all together.

3. There is a small kiddo area, but it is not consistent. Nolan could ride most of the rides in this area, but some were geared more toward toddlers, and one we were turned away from because he was still to small- in the small kid area! Like I said, he took it like a trooper, but it was hard for mom and dad to see him turned away over and over again on his special day.

4. The souvenirs are very reasonably priced! It kiddo (including Maylee) got one before we left. Liam picked out a light up sword with "battle sounds", Nolan got what looks like a light up ray gun, and I picked out a character bag for Maylee, as Foster Mom said that she loves to fill bags with toys and carry them around. Each of these were 15,000 won or less. 1,000 won equals a little less than one US dollar.

5. Be ready for your personal space to no longer be a thing. This is more a general piece of information about traveling in Korea, but it was more obvious at Lotte World. Koreans are SO polite, welcoming, and helpful, and they tend to not share our social rules when it comes to space. Waiting in lines, was full of pushing, people getting in and out of line, and even some ladies touching the boys faces.

6. Be ready to take candy from strangers. Our boys are SO loved here in Korea. We have been stopped everyday, multiple times a day, to be told how handsome they are and then they are given candy. This is the first time when we have told them, it's okay to take candy from a stranger. Ha ha ha! I think Korean women must line their pockets every morning, on the chance that they will see children to dote on.

It really was such a special day for our Teddy Bear and for our family!

Today, we see Maylee again!

The perfect ending, to a perfect day!

Bukchon Hanok Village

Walking to the village

The most important part of yesterday was meeting Maylee, of course. After getting some lunch and resting at our hotel for a bit, we decided to venture out again. We took the subway back to Insadong and then walked to the Bukchon Hanok Village to meet another family here to meet their little guy. Visiting this ancient village was the thing at the top of my sightseeing list, so I am so glad we made it there.

It is so beautiful and interesting to walk ancient streets and see the detail and art put right into the architecture. The boys loved seeing the tiny doors and finding hidden animals in the structures. We were surprised to see signs on the doors asking visitors to be quiet, as people actually live in these homes. The village is positioned high up on a hill, so the views were breathtaking. Seeing modern buildings in the distance, with the deep contrast of of the hanok spread out around us was amazing.

After meeting our new friends, we made our way back down the winding roads toward Insadong. We had plans to find a restaurant nearby, but we overestimated the boys' stamina. While walking down the streets, Liam began to ask to go back to the hotel and Nolan begged to be carried. We made the decision to head back to our hotel, with hopes of future dinner plans.

Once back in our warm hotel room, we were able to decompress a bit and really sort through our busy, amazing day. I think we are still overwhelmed with everything we have experienced and I know more processing is still to come.

Today, is Nolan's fifth birthday! We plan to spend it at Lotte World, which is similar to Disneyland, except much of it is indoors. Yay, for heat! Yesterday was all about our children meeting and getting to know one another. Today is all about our newest big brother. We can't wait to celebrate our big boy in such a special place, at such a special time.

Roasted Chestnuts from
a street vendor

Meeting Maylee

Today was such a special day for our family. We met our fifth member for the first time and it was such a wonderful experience! We made the morning busy on purpose, knowing that too much downtime would lead to too much thinking and worrying and anxiety. We woke up at 5:30 am (me much earlier),  headed to breakfast at 6:30, then had to meet our taxi driver in the lobby at 8 am. Our meeting wasn't scheduled to begin until 10 am, but we were not going to be late for this. The taxi ride only took about 20 minutes, so we were way early.

Just as in Yeouido, nothing was open this early except a Krispy Kreme donut shop in a mall a couple of blocks away. We went in, ordered some fancy donuts, and enjoyed the quiet of the empty restaurant. We then walked through the outdoor mall, enjoying the umbrellas above and the flowers around us. At about 9:30 we headed back to Holt. We went in, went up to the 2nd floor and met the wonderful staff who have been responsible for the Korea side of our adoption process. They were all so lovely and helpful.

After we completed some paperwork, more families started filing in. After a bit, everyone was done with their paperwork and it was time to head to our meeting space- the playgroup playrooms. It was a long walk, not only because we had to go down several flights of stairs, across a street and down the block, but also because we knew Maylee would be waiting at the end.

When we entered the room, it was like a wall of love and excitement hit everyone at once. Our foster mom instantly recognized us and called us over. She immediately began ushering Maylee toward us, telling her to say hello to her eomma (mommy), appa (daddy) and oppa (big brothers). She looked confused, but didn't look scared or sad. Her foster mom told me to sit on the couch next to her and continued to try to introduce us.

Within just a couple of minutes we were told it was time to move into the playgroup rooms. This was great as families usually meet their children in a big banquet-type room. The playgroup room offered toys and a more private space. We shared our playgroup room with one other family (also from Oregon!) and we were each introduced to our translator.

Until today, I was so worried about a few aspects of our first meeting-well, actually, many aspects, but a couple were whether or not it would be awkward to talk to the woman who has been raising our daughter. I also worried about our ability to communicate effectively, while also putting all our time and effort into our daughter. I shouldn't have worried about these things for a single second. Our foster mom is AMAZING and the translator was so helpful. It felt comfortable the entire time.

We were also worried that both our foster mom and our daughter would be very serious people, based on the smile-less photos we have received. We were pleasantly surprised that both laughed and smiled almost the whole time. Maylee's foster mom has a great sense of humor and Maylee has so many facial expressions- including smiling and laughing!

We began our meeting by giving Maylee her Christmas gifts. She was not interested in the dress, pjs, or stuffed deer, but she was however interested in all the snacks. They were a lifesaver! Passing around yogurt melts and puffs was how she began to warm up to us. It started with Liam and Nolan, then led to Joe and I. After some snack sharing, Maylee and the boys went up and down a slide into a ball pit. Maylee passed ball after ball to Nolan, while he threw them into the air. This was our first glimpse at the future of their relationship and we loved it.

As we followed Maylee around trying to interact with her when she would let us, we also continued to ask her foster mom questions about her. We are so thankful to her foster mom, as she came to our meeting with a notebook full of very specific notes that she thought we would want to know- like Maylee is POTTY TRAINED! She also flipped through her phone, showing us photos of Maylee's second birthday and other special days. She then told us that she is filling a flash drive for us, so we will have photos of her time with them. This will be amazing for us, but I love that we will be able to help Maylee's memories of Korea stay fresh and easy to recall.

About halfway through our time together, we noticed Liam had moved to a different area of the room. When I went to check in with him, he said that he was a little sad that Maylee wasn't playing with him and that he was sad that we were spending all of our time with her. When I reminded him that she was scared and nervous when we came and that she may be ready to play now, he got right up and walked over to try again. She still wasn't super receptive, so after a couple of attempts, Liam wandered off again. I checked in with him once again, when he told me that he was okay but wanted to just sit in the ball pit for a bit. After our meeting Liam continued to talk about Maylee in a positive, excited manner. I think that the situation was just overwhelming for him and he didn't quite know how to process it at the time.

When Liam decided to sit in a quiet space, I rejoined Maylee and continued to chat with her foster mom. Although Maylee in no way wanted us to touch her, she was very receptive to play and other interactions. She would give the boys high fives and continued to share her snacks throughout the meeting.

Toward the end of our time together, Maylee began asking about her foster sister, who was meeting her family in the playgroup room next door. We were told we could head over there to see them interact and so the foster mom and dad could finish the visit together, as they had split their time between our family and her little sister's. It was so adorable to watch Maylee interact with her foster sister! They gave each other hugs, and shared snacks and toys. As we walked away from our sweet, sweet Maylee Grace we waved our goodbyes and she waved back, with her sweet, tiny, perfect hand, she waved back.

The end of the meeting was not quite as hard as I thought it would be. It was so hard to leave our little girl, don't get me wrong, but we know we will see her Wednesday, we know that she is so loved and cared for by her foster family, and we know that someday soon she will be leaving this wonderful home that she knows. Her time here, with this family, is short and I am so thankful that she gets more time with them. More time to love them and be loved by them. More time to play with her little sister and share her toys and snacks. More time to make memories of Korea that she will cherish forever. Our time with her is coming so so soon.

Wide Awake

Well, I told you that I wouldn't have time for a post this morning, but guess what? I'm wide awake at 5 am......again. This time, not because of jet lag. This time I am wide awake because of massive butterflies and excitement, and worry. I am so nervous about how our daughter will see us and respond to us. We have loved her wholeheartedly for fourteen and a half months. We have watched her grow and change into the adorable toddler that she is. We have read every word of every report a thousand times, trying to learn all we can about someone we have never met.

Today, all of that changes. We will get our first glimpse at who she really is. Not what they can convey through translation and on paper, but who our daughter IS- what makes her happy, what makes her sad, what she likes to eat, what she doesn't, how she reacts to specific situations, how she shows love. All answers we hope to begin seeing today.

As nervous as I am for Maylee, I am just as nervous for our boys. They too have loved their sister for fourteen and a half months. Joe and I have done the reading and been to the trainings, we understand what her reactions to us may look like. The boys may not. We have tried to prepare them, discussing how strange it would be for them and how scary it may be for her, but they are seven and five (tomorrow!) and although empathy tends to be a quality that they both have, this is beyond the usual situation.

I am worried that they may feel rejected and frustrated. That their poor hearts won't be able to understand hers. I am worried that if their connections are not made while we are here, our transition once Maylee comes home will be so much harder. I know that I am putting a lot of pressure on the situation and our three children, and I can't help but worry. I'm a mom, it's my job.....right?

We are as ready as we will ever be. Our treats and gifts and pictures are packed and ready to go, our outfits are folded and ready to be worn, our documents are piled together in a big envelope, the cab will be here at 8 am (two hours before our meeting) and our hearts and arms are ready for Maylee. I just hope with all my mommy-might that she is ready for us as well.