Monday, July 9, 2012

Gummy Bear

For the first year or so after Liam was born, I thought I was good with one kid. The tremendous amount of responsibility and protectiveness I experienced were overwhelming. I knew that I would love my little man more than anyone who has ever lived, but I was in no way prepared for the flood of worry, happiness, exhaustion, and pride that I would feel. It was scary. I always worried about him. It never got to the point (or anywhere near it) that I wouldn't let others hold him, watch him while my husband and I went out, or follow him around making sure he never experienced life on his own. It was more of the in the middle of the night fear of: is he breathing? did he get enough to eat today (while nursing)? what if something happens when he's at the sitter's? I worried about how I would keep him safe constantly.
As with every mother, the worst tragedy you could ever imagine, is loosing your child(ren), and that stress that I put myself through made me believe that another child would be completely out of the question. I often wondered how others did it. How do they have more than one to protect and still stay sane? I love my son with all of my heart and soul and bringing him into this world was my best and proudest accomplishment, and I know I would feel the same way with another, but how could I possibly go through all that fear and worry all over again?
Luckily for me, my son, and my husband, those fears (although still very much there) began to be more manageable and less constant. The idea of having a second child became more conceivable and then eventually became exciting. The one point that absolutely made the decision for us, was that neither of us want Liam to be an only child. We want him to grow up with a brother or sister with whom he can share his childhood with.
We began working on plans for a second child in December. Knowing we had a few things to do before-hand we started planning far earlier than we did with Liam. After everything was in place, we began "trying" the end of February. We took the whole "If it happens, it happens" stance. About a month and a half of that without a baby and I became incredible impatient and we stepped up our game. With Liam it took one month to get pregnant, so this trying thing was new to us and a bit frustrating.
In mid-May we got the news we were hoping for! We were finally expecting a sibling for our little man. I am now almost 12 weeks along and very excited to be done with the first trimester. Although we were not quite ready to share the news with the world before this point, I have been writing posts throughout the pregnancy that I will be sharing with everyone. I'm a little nervous, very happy, and more than a tad exhausted, but I can't wait to meet our little gummy bear!

My due date is extra special, it's also my dad's birthday!

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