Friday, November 19, 2010

Love and Sacrifices

Having a baby complicates life a great deal, we all know that going into it. But how many people expect it to have an impact on their friendships? I didn't, but that was ignorant of me. Every friendship that I have has changed drastically. Friends that were once casual are now becoming more important than I ever thought, friends that were once the most trusted and leaned on are now barley hanging on, and there are still others who have seemed to fall off the face of the earth and are nowhere to be found. It is a difficult trade off- create life and meet the number one love of your life and change every other relationship that you hold dear. Of course, I would never trade my beautiful son for anything, but that doesn't mean that I will be able to make it through all these changes without some mixed feelings and grieving for the friendships that have gone by the way-side.
There is no fault in this situation, only changes and priority shifts. But again, just because I wanted my son doesn't mean that I wanted to loose the others that I care about. In some situations, this may be the best outcome for all and it may have been in the works anyway. But positions are being left unfilled and there are holes were "soul mates" used to be. How do you go from having close friends and no baby, to a baby that you love more than anything and no one for yourself? No one to help you through your hard times and no one to share in the fun times? It is so difficult to find someone who will stay the same, when everything in your life changes.
I hope that I have friendships in my future that will make my life feel complete and will be encouraged by my family as well as their family. I just wish that there was someone there now- but someday. Until then, I guess I will just count my blessings and be thankful for my wonderful family, friends, and most of all my little Liam.

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