A Year in Review

I have spent a lot of time thinking about 2011 and the changes that it brought. There were some great changes mixed with some painful ones. Overall, I think that the past year should be labeled a "Growing Year". Not only for myself, but also for my family, friends, and specifically my baby boy (who is not much of a baby anymore). I have changed a lot in the past few years, but I think that this year in particular has been the most important. I have grown a great deal as a person, mom, sister, daughter, friend, teacher, and wife. My role has changed in each of these areas several times this year and I have learned how to change too. Not everything about this year was a positive situation, but I believe that even the worst of situations have had some sort of role in the outcome of the year and have been crucial to my personal growth.
Last year I had a resolution to be flexible and openminded to the changes that life had in store for me. I think I did a pretty good job of this. I also had a resolution to loose the baby weight and become more comfortable in my own skin. I can put a check next to each of those as well. This year, my resolutions are to really focus on my relationship with my husband which has taken a backseat to many other obligations this past year. I will also focus on continuing the personal growth that I have started to make.
This year brought the loss of my dear grandma, the first birthday of my son, a new work schedule, renewed friendships, a walking/talking child, home projects, a memorable trip to Crater Lake, several trips to the beach, a few classes, some good reads, many changes at work, and several priority shifts. It seems to be a busy year behind me, but I have a feeling this year will blow it out of the water! Hopefully in a good way.

TBA-Temporary Baby Amnesia

My husband and I love my son more than anything and anyone. We adore him and love spending every waking minute with him. Well, not every waking minute. Anyone who knows us, knows that he comes first and we are more than happy with that arrangement. But the other night we got to thinking, now that he is in our lives there is no way to go even a few hours without him dominating our thoughts and conversations. This was the case in August when Joe and I spent the night out and stayed in a hotel to celebrate our anniversary. What happened? Well we talked about Liam the whole time and still woke up early the next morning so that we could get home to him. The thought occurred to me that wouldn't it be nice if we could get TBA (or temporary baby amnesia) once in a while.

For example, if the hubby and I wanted to have a date night- go out to dinner, maybe see a movie, get a drink, it would be so nice to do all of that without the worry that is associated with being away from your baby. It would also be great if we could have a conversation with one another without the topic always being around our little guy. As I said before, I love my son more than I ever thought possible, but I also think it would be nice to take a pill and for two or three hours actually forget I have a baby boy and have a night that is once again, truly about us. Now I know that this isn't possible (at least yet) and maybe there is a good reason for that, but a mommy can dream can't she?

Overboard

This was Liam's second Christmas, you would think we learned our lesson last year. Nope! Joe and I thought that we were doing a pretty good job of not going overboard with the gift-giving to our little guy. That is until yesterday when we tried to find places for everything. We missed the fact that we were not the only people who were going to be spoiling him this season, and now I am almost sick about how much he has. Joe and I stuck to about 5ish gifts, but so did everyone else. I have a huge family (7 siblings and two sets of parents, plus quite a few aunts, uncles, and cousins) and Joe also has two sets of parents, so between our families and friends Liam ended up with the equivalent of his own toy store! Wonderful for him, quite the chore for me! At this point, he has three rooms with space for his toys (his bedroom, the living room, and now our office). He is too little to have so much, and that is why we will be spending some time this week going through his old toys and donating them to kids who don't have so much. I am so appreciative of our amazing family and friends who love our little man as much as we do!

An Opportunity to Educate

Tomorrow is my last day at work for two and a half weeks. I absolutely love my job, but it can be so exhausting! The kiddos are crazy, the staff is tired, and all of our attention-spans are waivering. To those people who say that teachers should not get so much time off, work ONE week in our job and we will see what kind of break you want. Last week I read an article in our local paper written by a community member who was upset that their child is not in school enough "due to teachers taking so many breaks." My first response is "I'm a teacher, not a child care provider" and second, "What breaks!?!" Sure, the calandar says that I get a few days for Thanksgiving, two weeks for Christmas, and a week in the spring, but do you really think that I do not work during that time?! If you do, you obviously have never done this job. To the outsider, it may seem like a regular 8 to 3 job. Well, the short answer is hell no!
Every free day that we get, I either bring a huge stack of grading/planning home with me to work on during my "break" or I work twice as much the week before to get it all done. Sounds like what the average worker has to do. Also, other than the above mentioned breaks, all other days off are either- unpaid holidays, workdays (yes, I do work), grading days, conferences, or (thanks to the current budget) furlough days.  Of course, most people say "Hey what about the summer?" Well, most of us teachers spend our summer in trainings, taking classes to further our education, still planning for the year to come, working in our classroom, or occasionally, we take a day for our family.
It's also important to remember that we get no vacation time throughout the year, really only have from mid-June to mid-August "off", and we do not get paid for the months we do not work. Also, imagine being in charge of 60 11 and 12 year olds (and I only work part-time), then you actually have to earn their respect, teach them something daily, and communicate with their parents. I'm sure that most people are thinking "No way!" Now think about doing all of this for less than what the average college graduate makes, eventhough you have a masters degree to pay for. So.... stop complaining about how/when I do my job! Unless you have been a teacher, you have no right to talk about how "little" we do, because no one who has been a teacher would ever say that! They know better!!

Turkey and Insults

Last Saturday was Joe's work Christmas party. It was held on a boat that traveled down the Willamette river, while we ate. It was one of my least favorite of his Christmas parties. They are usually a great "adult" night for Joe and I. We get a chance to eat food we wouldn't normally choose, go out to a resturant that we wouldn't normally go to, and talk to other adults for an evening. This year was crap! The boat seemed like a nice idea, but the windows fogged up almost instantly, so we either had to spend all evening wiping them down, or just not see any of the scenery (which was the reason they choose the boat in the first place). Then there was the food! A week after Thanksgiving and what did they have?! Thanksgiving food that was not as good as Grandma's. The company kind of sucked too. We got stuck sitting with Joe's know-it-all (but really is an arrogant idiot) of a co-worker. A direct quote from this man, to my husband and I at dinner was "I'm the only person in this whole company who actually knows what their doing. No one else works at all!" Ass!
Anyway, the topper of the night was when we were talking to another couple about Liam and their kids. About five minutes into the conversation, the wife asked if we had thought about schools yet. My son is 19 months old! When I told her that he would be going to the public schools in our community, she had a look of utter shock on her face. She asked if we had even looked at private schools, because "they fill up fast." I said no and that I work in the school district as a teacher and know them to be very good. Again, a look of shock. Not only was I insulted by the obvious issue with our parental education choices, but also at her lack of respect for the career that I pour my heart and soul into.
I should take a minute to explain, most of the people that Joe works with are very well off. They don't worry about money like most of us do. I'm sure that she has never even considered sending her kids to public school. In fact, one of the things that we talked about was the fact that her youngest daughter (who is 3) has to be in two preschools, because one is well known for "excellence in play" and the other is purely academic. Good for you! My son gets excellent instruction in play at the in-home day care that he attends, he will get his academic education from his father and I for now, and public education when the time comes and he will live!
Sometimes having lots of money doesn't make you a better parent, co-worker, or dinner guest.

A Visit with Santa

I love the holiday season! I always have, and probably always will. But I love it even more now that Liam is starting to love it too. Everyone says that Christmas is for kids, I think that kids make it Christmas. For the past, I don't know, 10 years I have enjoyed the season, but it just isn't the same once you are "grown up". Now that Liam is getting into it, it's exciting all over again. I have had several people ask me if I really think that Liam knows what's going on. I don't think that he completely gets it yet, but a huge peice of evidence, that parts make sense to him, happened yesterday.
We spent the day at the Portland Christmas bazaar. One of the main attractions this year, was that Santa was there. I was a bit worried about how Liam would handle a meeting with the big guy. Last year he was too young to really notice who was holding him, so I didn't think that we would have a repeat of the calm that took place.
Liam is also a bit of a shy guy. He tends to be reserved and calm when meeting new people. He is not the type of kid to let strangers hold him. But what did he do when he saw Santa? He RAN to him, crawled onto his lap, and smiled big for the camera. None of this behavior is like him.
This leads me to believe that he has already figured out that Santa is a nice guy, who brings him gifts. Why else would my shy, reserved, stand-offish 19 month old, let a complete stranger in a weird outfit, hold him?! I know he's a smart guy (as all parents know about their children), but even this was shocking. I walked around with a huge smile on my face for the rest of the day. My son shocks and suprises me daily, and this was one of the best so far!

Good Feeling: Gone!

Am I a horrible wife, who is complaining and throwing a fit for nothing? I don't think so, but I thought I would get someone else's opinion just to be sure.
About two months ago, my husband and I went through our entire house looking for blankets, hats, and gloves that we no longer use. The plan was to donate them to a shelter downtown so that the items would go straight to those who need them the most. My husband works downtown and OFFERED to take them in for me. About a month and a half went by without the piles and bags leaving his trunk. Finally, last week he came home and proudly announced that he had donated them. I was so happy. He remembered, and we were helping the people who need the help the most (especially at this time of the year).
Tonight while watching the news, a commercial for the salvation army came on and I asked him if that was where he took the things. He said no, that he had taken them to the Goodwill on the way home from work. I'm livid with him! I know that donating to Goodwill is a good thing to do, but I wanted to give them to people who can't even afford Goodwill. I wanted to give them to people, not have them pay for them. I wanted people who sleep in the cold to be a bit warmer because of us.
I spent the last few days feeling very good about our donation and about how our unused items would make someone else's life a tiny bit better, and now I feel like that was taken from me! We obviously can't get them back to give to a shelter, so I'm left with frustration and anger at my husband. I offered several times to take them in myself and he said that he wanted to. We discussed our plans several times, so I know there was no miscommunication. He was just being lazy and wanted me to stop "nagging" him. So am I wrong to be angry?