Months and Pounds

Since becoming pregnant, my body has changed drastically, many times. First I gained massive amounts of weight in a very short amount of time (which obviously is normal when you are pregnant). Within weeks after Liam was born, I dropped about 20 of the 50lbs that I gained. It then took quite a while for the next 20lbs to be shed. The past couple of months have been spent trying to loose the last 10lbs. There have been a lot of ups and a few downs, but I am almost there! I told myself when I got pregnant, that it would take me nine months to gain the baby weight and I would give myself nine months to loose it. Liam will be nine months next Sunday.
Being a new mom who works makes it very difficult to loose the baby weight. I have been trying to eat better and I know that nursing has helped- A LOT! But when it comes to finding time and energy to work out, it is out of the question. Because I already get up at 4:45 am, there is no way I am going to get up earlier to work out. After work is also not happening. I get home from work about 4pm and Liam goes to bed about 8pm. This is the only time I get to see him throughout the day and I don't want to miss any of that time to go to the gym or go running. Not to mention the guilt I feel even thinking about it. And then there is after Liam goes to sleep. He goes to bed about an hour before I do and by that time, I am so exhausted that I can hardley manage to get off the couch.
Looking back on all of this, I am so shocked that I have made it this far toward my goal of getting back to my pre-pregnancy weight in 9 months. For those of you who haven't had a kids yet, I know that 9 months sounds like a lifetime and as though this should be no problem at all. But you are mistaken! It is very hard. The first couple months is easy because what you loose is a mixture of the weight of the actual baby, the fluid needed to keep baby healthy and the water/bloating that pregnancy adds to your body. But after that, it is all you.
I also never thought too much about how having a baby will actually "change" my body. Even though I am extremely close to my pre-pregnancy weight, I do not see my old body in there anywhere. In some ways, I love my new body, but there are a couple of new developments that I wish I could erase. I am hoping that with a little exersice (when I have more "me" time) I will be able to tone up a little and begin to see a body that I recognize a bit more. Oh the changes that a baby brings! They are never ending!!