Monday, August 7, 2017

Our Daughter

To the Mother of Our Daughter,

Adoption is a beautiful blessing to all. It comes with so many wonderful pieces that connect to make those of us drawn to it, whole. I can't imagine my life or my family without this piece. The name we have given her is Maylee Grace. We chose these names to blend our heritage with yours. She will always be your daughter, for she will always know how very much you loved her.

She will know of the selfless sacrifices you made to ensure that her story would have a love-filled chapter two. She will know that you still love her, each and every day. That you think about her often and miss her always. She will know that we love you, as a vital family member. One we don't get to see, but cherish all the same.

Our daughter will know everything we know about you. She will live and grow with your culture, her culture, and now our culture. We share so many things, you and I. We share love and hope for our daughter and her future. She will make us proud. She will love you, just as I love you.

Adoption is a beautiful blessing, and it comes with grief. Your grief began the day you knew. The day her future became clear. It aches still and will continue to. Her grief began that day as well. While she may not have understood, she felt the loss of her mother. She cried out for you. She grieves your loss still and will continue to.

Our daughter has now had three foster mothers. Each of these women love her as we do. Each held her close and cared for her when we could not. Each of these mothers to our daughter mourn their loss. Each of them have made selfless sacrifices-loving our daughter, knowing she would only be with them for a short time. Each of these beautiful, selfless women brought love and care to our little girl. Each of these mothers to our daughter, grieves there loss today, just as you do.

I grieve for the months and years which I will miss. The milestones passed without me. I grieve the smiles, the snuggles, and memories. I cry when she is sick and I can't comfort her. There is a pain deep in my heart each time her brothers ask when she will be home. I grieve the pieces of her story I will never know.

Our daughter has felt each of these losses as well. While being surrounded by love and warmth, she still grieves those who are no longer able to be with her. Our daughter knows loss, she knows love, and she has, and will continue to grieve for all of us.

Someday, our daughter will begin to question her past, her present, and her future. Someday, her daddy and I will share her story. Someday, we will do our best to help her process her sadness, to help her answer her questions, and to help her feel all of the love from all who have cared for her since the moment she came into their lives. Our daughter will feel your love. She will feel the love from each of her foster mamas. She will feel so many things.

Sorting it out will not be easy. None of us will know what we are doing or how to best proceed. Without a single answer, without a feasible plan, we will-You and I, We will love her, as only a mother can.

Forever Bonded in the Deepest of Love,
Maylee's Other Mommy

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