I have a very blessed and happy life. I have a wonderful husband, who has been my best friend for more than thirteen years; two sweet, smart boys, who make me laugh every day; I have a career that I love, and which supports our family; I have family and friends that support me and my boys; we live in a safe neighborhood, and in a comfortable home. I have a lot to be thankful for. However, the past few months have been stressful, and difficult for me to adjust to. There have been so many changes, and unlike my boys, I've been a bit down about some of them.
My attitude lately, has been a not so great one. Over the weekend I realized, that the way I react, and the way that I perceive my situation, is not helping me to be happy. In fact, it is doing the opposite. My feelings have been adding to my frustration. Most of my stress has, once again, been associated with my work. I LOVE my job! I love my students! I love the curriculum that I teach! So why am I so down on my work-life?
Being part-time has been the best family decision that Joe and I have ever made. It has allowed me to really parent my boys the way we want them to be parented. I have spent countless hours having quality time with them, making memories that would have never existed, if I were to work full time. I still get to fulfill my need to be an educator, and have some "mommy-time". I know that not everyone has this option, and for that I am truly grateful.
But there are downsides. Every year, my schedule changes. Every year, the boys and I have to adjust to a new "normal". Every year, our family, just barley gets by. For the past three years, these are sacrifices that Joe and I were, more than willing, to make. This year has been rougher than past years. My schedule is not a good one for our family: my hours are longer (which has been an adjustment for all), I don't get a full prep, so I tend to work much later than I should, and I bring a lot of work home.
Since having Liam, I have always been home before Joe. This year, I get home at least an hour later than him. My mornings (although long) are busy, hectic, and stressful. Although my boys were the main point of being part-time, avoiding work drama was an added bonus. This schedule seems to cater to the drama, not help to avoid it. For all of these reasons, I have been blue about the coming eight months. I have found myself wishing them away, several times.
I don't want to do this anymore. I still love my job, I still love my students, I still get to be home with my boys more than most working parents, I am able to spend this school year adding to our bank account, and reducing our debt, I get to teach three classes of my favorite subject, and we still have all the same supportive people around us. I need to focus on these things, and not the ones that have been filling my mind. Next year, can only be better (right?!), and until then, I will be happy about the blessings I do have, because, as a very wise person once said, "Someone, somewhere, is wishing that they were lucky enough to have the things that you complain about."