Changes

Many things about my life are about to change. Baby boy #2 will be here by next Wednesday (or earlier). As the past few weeks have progressed, every part of this pregnancy has been a roller coaster ride. Some days I'm exhausted, frustrated about my dwindling physical abilities, and ready to meet our little gummy bear. But other days my energy returns, I feel wonderful, and I can keep up with my busy toddler. This past week has been different. No up and down action now. We are headed one way, and that's down-hill. Of course, I mean this in an uncomfortable, but amazing way.
Since last weekend, I have been feeling increased contractions, been drop-dead tired, and have felt a great deal of stretching low. Since everything happened at once with Liam, it's difficult for me to be sure whether these are normal aches and pains, or something more. Either way, I'm sure that what I have been feeling is normal, I just don't know whether it means anything. Last night we hit rock bottom (figuratively). My little guy dropped suddenly (once again, not something I experienced w/my last pregnancy). Today has been extremely difficult. My energy is gone, I feel as though the baby is going to fall out of me, I can breathe better, but my anxiety level is high.
Since the plan was to work until tomorrow, I'm trying to make it through the day and will see my doctor this afternoon, when we will decide if I should return tomorrow. If this baby is anything like his brother, his big drop is a sign that he is on the way. Laim was born twelve days early, which would be today for this one. I hope that I make it to the scheduled c-section for a couple of reasons: we have a lot to do to prepare still and I want to have a couple of days where it is just Liam and I. I have already planned some wonderful outings/activities for our two days together. Joe and I have also planned a very Liam-focused weekend, complete with an at-home movie night, free swim, a trip to the park, and his favorite games, books, and food.
As I get closer to meeting little man #2, I'm so excited. I can't wait to see who he looks like, what kind of a personality he has, and how having two will pan out. But when it comes to Liam, the arrival of his little brother causes me a bit of anxiety. I have no idea how he will handle all of this. Liam and I have been two peas in a pod for almost three years. We have a tremendous bond and he is a very happy boy. I'm just worried that some of this may change in the coming months.
Some days he says he's excited to be a big brother and asks when he wakes up if baby brother is here yet, other days he says he doesn't want a baby brother and he clings to me. I know that eventually it will all work out and they will love and play with one another, but for now, Liam is all I know and he is everything to me, takes all my time, energy, and effort. I just hope he adjusts well. We have some plans in place, thanks to friends, family, and co-workers who have offered suggestions, so hopefully those will prove helpful and we will be a completely happy family very soon!