A Change in Perspective

For the past four days, Joe and I have been a bit concerned about whether or not I received a shot after Liam's birth that could cause complications for later pregnancies. I'm RH negative which is problematic when you are carrying a baby that is RH positive. Your body can actually attack a RH postive baby without proper vaccines. The issue usually doesn't occur until the second pregnancy because your blood needs to mix with the babies blood in order for your body to create the antibodies that are harmful to baby. This doesn't usually happen until birth. This is why you are supposed to get a Rhogame shot within 72 hours of the birth, to help stop the production of those antibodies. If you don't get this shot your body will make the antibodies and they will be waiting for your next pregnancy. If the new baby is also positive, the antibodies will attack it and can cause death and other serious complications.
When looking back in my hospital records there was no record of me getting this shot and I have no memory of it being given. I called my doctor to ask her about it, but of course she was out for the day. So I called the hospital, but they would not release the information without written consent and then the records would be mailed to me. How much stress can you take?! Without it I would have about a 50/50 chance of having a baby that my body would reject. The thought of putting my husband, son, family, and myself through those odds was so scary! I had already decided that if I did not receive the shot, I would not have anymore children. I have an amazing son who I love more than anything, and I can not imagine thinking that I was about to get another one and then loose it because my own body hurt it. There is absolutely no way I could deal with that!
The records finally came in the mail last night, and after hours of searching pages of records I could barely understand, we finally found it. A record of the shot being given (it was the very last thing, on the very last page of the stack that was sent to me). I feel a great deal of relief and I know Joe does too (even though he says he was never worried). Thinking that there was a possiblilty that I wouldn't be able to be pregnant again, the my son wouldn't have any siblings, that we would never get to use the cute baby names that we finally agree on, all made me realize how much I do want another baby. There are still a few things that we need to do to prepare, but I learned a lot about how I really feel about a second Baby Brooks and about how heart-broken I would be to know that it wasn't going to happen.
Sometimes you need the option to be taken away to really realize how you feel.