No Bake Lactation and Energy Bites

I have tried many recipes for lactation cookies throughout my nursing years. Some I loved, some were okay, others were just plain yucky. When three friends had babies all within months of one another, I decided I should take a chance on making my own recipe. I had struggled to find brewers yeast in the past and have searched for recipes that taste good and work as a lactation treat without it. This was super difficult to do as brewers yeast is one of the ingredients that helps mother's produce milk, however, this recipe has several other supply-helpers which have worked just as well.

Ingredients:

1 cup dry oatmeal
1 cup Wild Friends Honey Sunflower Butter
1/2 cup whole ground flaxseed meal
1/4 cup milk chocolate chips
1/4 cup white chocolate chips
1 tsp vanilla extract

Mix all the ingredients together, then put into the fridge for 10-20 minutes to help them set a bit. This makes it easier to roll them into balls. Once they have hardened a bit, roll balls and place on a cookie sheet lined with wax paper and put back into the refrigerator for another 10-20 minutes to set completely. This recipe will make about a dozen good-sized bites.

I love this recipe mainly because it is so versatile and many ingredients can be switched out for others if desired. Although this recipe does not call for brewers yeast you could definitely add a couple of tablespoons if you would like. It also does not contain nuts (this was a concern for one of the mamas as her toddler is allergic), but once again, you could substitute sunflower butter with good old peanut butter as well. The chocolate chip mixture could be different as well. Use any chip flavor you like.


I eat these as energy bites (even though I do not have a nursing child) and my kiddos love them too. They make for a yummy, easy to make, healthy snack for everyone as well as a wonderful gift for any nursing mama!

Post-Partum Weight Loss: 6 Months Later

This is an update to my post-partum weight loss journey. My son is now 6 months old, and I have hit the point when I was hoping to be back to my pre-pregnancy weight/shape. Although I am extremely happy with my progress, and have made a great deal of changes to aid in reaching my goal, I still have about 5 pounds to go. I have decided to blame the left over weight on nursing, as it tends to make your body hold on to a little poundage. It may be a lie I tell myself, but it makes me feel better about not being exactly where I wanted to be at this point. I continued to follow the tips that I accumulated to write Post-Partum Weight Loss Tips, as well as made running a constant part of my life, and it got me here!


1 Week Before Baby #2

9 Weeks After Baby #2

6 Months After Baby #2

Post-Partum Weight Loss Tips

When I gained more than fifty pounds while pregnant with my oldest son, I was shocked and felt as though I had lost a horrible battle. It’s bad enough that you have to look huge for months on end before the baby is born, but it is salt in the wounds when the baby is out and you still look pregnant months later. This was my experience the first time around. When I look back on pictures of myself three (or more) months after welcoming Liam, it makes me sad.

Three months after Liam was born, I attended a bridal shower for a friend and the pictures show someone who looks as though they could be five or six months along. What a horrendous memory! I still wonder how I let myself go in the first place, how and why, did I choose to ignore it even months later? This time I was far more careful both during and after my pregnancy, and the extra effort has really paid off.

Here are my tips for getting your shape back after pregnancy:

*Don’t Gain It In the First Place: During my first pregnancy, I ate what I felt like and more than I should have. I also didn’t take the time to be active. This resulted in more than fifty pounds and an exhausted woman. This time, I watched what I ate, how much I ate, and made sure that I was as active as I could be. This resulted in less than 30 pounds of weight gain for my second pregnancy. Having a two year old to chase, definitely helped with the activity part of this plan.

*Nurse: If you are up for it and have the ability, nursing is a great way to lose those extra pounds. I nursed with my first son as well, which was a key factor in eventually losing the weight I gained with that pregnancy. Nursing burns a great deal of calories and is a wonderful way to get started on your weight loss during those weeks where exercise is not an option.

*Drink a lot of Water: Staying hydrated is important for many reasons: it will be extremely helpful in keeping your milk supply up and running, it will help with bowel movements (See What No One Tells You about Post-Partum), and it helps keep you feeling satisfied.

*What to Eat: Dairy, fruits, and veggies. I have had a very snack-focused diet since having my second son. It’s difficult to find the time and energy to make a full meal. So I keep my cupboards and fridge stocked with low-fat cheese, yogurt, oranges, bananas, apples, celery, carrot sticks, and other quick, easy, healthy snacks.

*Be Prepared: This tip goes along with the last one. Think ahead and have these sort of snacks packed when you go out. If you get hungry on the run, you tend to eat things that are not helpful with weight loss. If you know you will be out for a while, pack snacks for the trip. This way you will save the money you would have spent on food, and shed the pounds. This is also helpful for the kiddos in tow. If you have snacks for them, things tend to go much smoother.

*Join a Class/Run: I have never been much of a runner until having my boys. It took a while, but after Liam was born I started running here and there. This time, when I hit the 8 week mark (when my doctor okayed me for exercise), I was ready to go. Doing one of these options not only helps you burn calories and fat, but it is also a wonderful break from mommyhood. I can't wait for my husband to get home from work every day, so that I can go for my run. It has actually turned into a calm, relaxing, quiet time, which all new mommies need.

*Get Up!: My final tip is to simply be active. If you have more than just the new baby, this is easier because you have one to chase. But even if the newborn in your arms is the only one in your home, go for walks, join mommy groups, set up play dates, do anything to get yourself off the couch or out of bed. This is helpful for two reasons: 1. If you have a reason to get dressed in the morning and people to see, it will give you more motivation to get back into shape. 2. Getting out of the house is a chore in itself, and taking the time and effort to pack up, even just one child, will burn more calories than you know. Even if you can't manage to get to the gym or go for a jog, just getting up will help you win the battle against the baby weight.

I still have some weight to lose before I reach my pre-baby size, but I'm well on my way! Good luck with your post-pregnancy weight loss. Here are a couple of pictures to show how these tips helped me to lose the baby weight.

1 week before Baby #1

1 week before Baby #2

    

3 months after Baby #1

9 weeks after Baby #2

Why I Won’t Write: What No One Tells You about Labor/Delivery

I have written a couple of posts about the process of becoming a mommy and the things that I would have liked to know before jumping in. But there is one part of the process that I don’t think I need to write about. There are two reasons why I will never write a post about the things future mothers should know about labor and delivery.

 The first reason is that no two experiences are exactly alike. No matter what I have to say about the way that my labor and delivery experiences went, yours will go very differently. Discussing my personal experiences will do nothing to prepare another mommy for what is to come. In fact, hearing the horrific details of my labor/delivery will only scare those who read about them. This alone is a reason not to share.

The second reason to skip this part of the progression is that, if you are pregnant or even know someone who has recently given birth, you have already heard all the details. This is because mommies are proud of what they go through when bringing their children into the world, and they love to share their personal experience with anyone who will listen. I know this because I am one of them. I will share everything that I can remember about the times when my sons were born, with anyone who will listen, and I have noticed that the mommies I share my time with are just as open about what they went through.

As mommies, we are proud of how much we are willing to go through for our children, and proud of our sacrifices and scars. We wear these experiences like medals and are happy to re-live every part of it as a reminder of how amazing we are and how much we love our babies. If you are truly curious about the things that no one talks about, find a mom and ask. You should plan for a long conversation, so make sure you have a great deal of time to spare.

Best Month Ever!!

Things always feel like they could be better. We all tend to focus on the things in life we wish we could change. For me, this amazing month of January 2013, that is not happening! This month will go down in Brooks family history as one of the absolute best times of our lives. First I will share the best news of all: our little gummy bear made his entrance into the world yesterday morning. Nolan Theodore Brooks was born at 8:09 am. Weighing in at 7lbs 8 oz, and 19 inches long, he is perfect in every way!

Our family is finally complete and everyone is happy, healthy, and excited for our future. Liam has already proven to be a wonderful and caring big brother. Within the first 10 minutes of meeting Nolan, he had already hugged, kissed, and tickled his little brother. When he left the hospital last night, he gave Nolan a big kiss and said "I love you baby Nolan! Goodnight!" So cute!

    The next wonderful thing that is happening this month, is that we will meet our first financial goal: paying off the car. It was hard work and required a lot of sacrifice, but we did it! We were able to pay off three years-worth of payments in ten months. Even with a hot water heater replacement, the holiday season, and a new baby on the way, we were able to stick to our plans (for the most part) and reach our goal right on time. I am so proud of us! We are already looking toward our next money-smart goal.

   And the last of the exciting things to celebrate this month, is that I was finally able to pass the Reading Specialist praxis test! The state of Oregon adopted a new version of the test in September, so I tried it again. Apparently this was the right version for me, because I ended up getting a score of 190 out of 200! Shocking when I couldn't even pass the last version, let alone only miss ten points! Although things have been going quite well for our little family for some time now, this month takes the cake! I can't imagine anything being better then the happiness, pride, and love I feel right now!

Changes

Many things about my life are about to change. Baby boy #2 will be here by next Wednesday (or earlier). As the past few weeks have progressed, every part of this pregnancy has been a roller coaster ride. Some days I'm exhausted, frustrated about my dwindling physical abilities, and ready to meet our little gummy bear. But other days my energy returns, I feel wonderful, and I can keep up with my busy toddler. This past week has been different. No up and down action now. We are headed one way, and that's down-hill. Of course, I mean this in an uncomfortable, but amazing way.
Since last weekend, I have been feeling increased contractions, been drop-dead tired, and have felt a great deal of stretching low. Since everything happened at once with Liam, it's difficult for me to be sure whether these are normal aches and pains, or something more. Either way, I'm sure that what I have been feeling is normal, I just don't know whether it means anything. Last night we hit rock bottom (figuratively). My little guy dropped suddenly (once again, not something I experienced w/my last pregnancy). Today has been extremely difficult. My energy is gone, I feel as though the baby is going to fall out of me, I can breathe better, but my anxiety level is high.
Since the plan was to work until tomorrow, I'm trying to make it through the day and will see my doctor this afternoon, when we will decide if I should return tomorrow. If this baby is anything like his brother, his big drop is a sign that he is on the way. Laim was born twelve days early, which would be today for this one. I hope that I make it to the scheduled c-section for a couple of reasons: we have a lot to do to prepare still and I want to have a couple of days where it is just Liam and I. I have already planned some wonderful outings/activities for our two days together. Joe and I have also planned a very Liam-focused weekend, complete with an at-home movie night, free swim, a trip to the park, and his favorite games, books, and food.
As I get closer to meeting little man #2, I'm so excited. I can't wait to see who he looks like, what kind of a personality he has, and how having two will pan out. But when it comes to Liam, the arrival of his little brother causes me a bit of anxiety. I have no idea how he will handle all of this. Liam and I have been two peas in a pod for almost three years. We have a tremendous bond and he is a very happy boy. I'm just worried that some of this may change in the coming months.
Some days he says he's excited to be a big brother and asks when he wakes up if baby brother is here yet, other days he says he doesn't want a baby brother and he clings to me. I know that eventually it will all work out and they will love and play with one another, but for now, Liam is all I know and he is everything to me, takes all my time, energy, and effort. I just hope he adjusts well. We have some plans in place, thanks to friends, family, and co-workers who have offered suggestions, so hopefully those will prove helpful and we will be a completely happy family very soon!

Dizzy Spells = Scary Moments

This week my family and I had a bit of a scare. Monday morning I got ready for work like always, packed Liam into the car and took him to my mom's house as usual, and sat down to relax just as I always do before heading to work. I should back-up just a bit. I woke up that morning refreshed, feeling better than I have in weeks, ready for my last week of work before our holiday break. But while sitting on my mom's couch, talking to her about the week, or holiday plans, etc. I started to feel dizzy, light headed, and a bit nauseous. I thought that maybe I was just thirsty ( I knew that being hungry was not the issue, since I had a larger than normal breakfast before heading out for the day), so I walked to the kitchen to get some water.
Once there, I started to see spots, my ears felt plugged, and I had to lean on the counter just to stay upright. After drinking some water and taking a bit more of a break, I started to feel better. Since I was supposed to have students a half and hour later, I decided that I would go ahead and try going to work. As most of you can probably guess, this was not the brightest idea. I got about a quarter of the way to work and started to feel dizzy and weak all over again. Thankfully, I made it to the parking lot before the symptoms got worse.
I immediately called my doctor and explained what was happening. She told me that I was crazy for thinking I should go to work, and told me to go home and stay in bed. Luckily, we had already scheduled our next appointment for the next day, so she said we would check everything then. My husband and I spent the next two days being stressed and worried that something horrible was happening. My little gummy bear is healthy, but if he came this early, I would be very worried about him. I was born 5 weeks early and had many complications. He would have been 5 weeks early on Wednesday. I know that medicine/health care is far better now than when I was born, but still I was scared.
At the appointment we learned that my blood pressure is normal, they ran several tests that also came back normal, the baby is active, his heartbeat is perfect, and everything seems to be great. My doctor did say that if I have another episode like this one, I would be on bed-rest for the remainder of this pregnancy and that this baby seems to be on the fast track, so we should plan for a December baby rather than a January one.
No matter what, if this baby is healthy, then I am the happiest mommy in the world! I can't wait to meet him (although I would like him to bake a bit longer), so our family can be complete.
Happy Holidays to all! I hope that everyone has a safe, happy, healthy time with family and friends. We really do have a lot to be thankful for.

Showered with Love

This is the time of year where everyone is thinking about what they have to be thankful for. It's amazing how wonderful your life can seem when you focus on these parts rather than the parts you wish to change. I have so many people and things to be appreciative of. Never has that been more apparent than the last few months, and in particular, this past weekend. On Saturday, my mom, two of my sisters, my grandma, and two of my closest friends worked together to throw me the best baby shower imaginable.
Since we are being blessed with another baby boy, we really don't need a lot of things to prepare for his arrival. But that didn't stop the hoards of family, friends, and co-workers from celebrating the upcoming arrival of our gummy bear with us. Everyone was so generous and genuinely excited to meet baby Brooks #2, that our house was filled with people and love for hours. Even the folks who couldn't make it to the shower, sent their love and gifts for our little guy without hesitation. When I came home today, I was reminded once again how lucky we are, by the package sitting by our front door with my baby boy's name on it (figuratively).
One of the best parts of welcoming another family member, is the constant reminder of just how many people care about us and want us to be happy and healthy. As we head into our last weeks as parents of one, Joe and I feel as though we are not making this transition alone. We know that we have family to support us and friends to share our stories and experiences with. I know that this is about the time in a pregnancy where the nerves tend to kick in, but amazingly I feel more ready to welcome our bundle now than I did even a week ago.
Now that I have begun my wonderful five-day-holiday-weekend, am heading to a check-up for my gummy bear, and get to share lots of time with the people who mean the most to me, I can relax a bit and enjoy this amazing time of my life.

.........it also helps that we finally picked a name for the baby in my belly. We can finally take that off our list!

Bath Time = Bonding Time

Before getting pregnant with baby #2, I was worried about how having more than one child would effect our family. I have always known that I want more than one, but after having Liam it seemed so scary to have to share my time with him with another baby as well. This was a driving factor when it came to waiting. I just couldn't wrap my head around the idea of Liam not being the only person that I cared about that much. Ever since the day he was born, all I have wanted to do is be with him. It was very hard to imagine him not getting 100% of my time and effort.
It wasn't until the other night, that I realized that it isn't Liam that I have to worry about. The baby boy in my tummy is so far, getting the shaft! When I was pregnant with Liam, it was a common, nightly ritual to take a long bath. I thought of this as my time with my unborn baby. I talked to him, was able to really focus on his movements, and was finally able to relieve some of the pressure of carrying a baby. I felt so connected to him before he was even here. Although we still didn't have a name to call him, I KNEW him.
A couple of nights ago, I was actually lucky enough to find the time to take a quick bath. I realized that this was one of just a handful that I have taken since becoming pregnant. While laying in the tub, talking to this baby, it occurred to me that I don't "know" this baby like I did Liam. I don't talk to him as often as I did with Liam and I feel less connected some how.
Maybe this is why the middle child tends to be nuts. He is already getting the shorter end of the stick. This is just one example of the inequalities this baby has in store. Liam came into this world with his own room, decorated and filled with things, just for him. He has experienced two and a half years of being the only thing that we worry about. Unfortunately for the baby in my belly, this will not be the case for him. He will share space, clothes, toys, and attention with his big brother.
I should have never worried about how hard it would be to take attention away from Liam, I should have been worrying about how I would find the time, effort, and energy to give attention to my gummy bear. I know that when this little guy enters the world, things will be different and the connection, love, time, and attention will just come. But the idea that this baby is already being deprived of something that Liam received without hesitation makes me sad.
I love you gummy bear, and I will be sure to take more baths between now and when you arrive......I promise!

An Involuntary Vegetarian

My whole life I have been what I can, a half-way vegetarian. I love pork, turkey, and chicken, but have never been too interested in beef, seafood, or any other meat for that matter. I refuse to eat things like deer, elk, lamb, etc. for personal reasons, but have never gone 100% meatless. Although I have very few choices, meat is almost always on our home menu in some way or another. Until this month that is.....

My blue gummy bear has made it quite clear that he is a vegetarian and that he strongly believes that I should follow suit. I have tried all of my favorites and they have taken turns making me feel nauseous. First it was just chicken. I have always been a bit of texture snob when it comes to my food, but the stringy, chewy texture of chicken made me sick for days. Then I made jambalaya for the first time. I was so excited about the sausage and shrimp (the only kind of seafood I have ever been able to swallow). But the ended even worse! I had a whole crock pot full of, what I'm sure was a delicious meal, but all I could taste and smell was the shrimp and my baby boy was not happy. Next it was ground turkey in our pasta, then turkey burgers from the BBQ, who know what's next!

All that's left are sausages (which even at this very moment sounds disgusting) and bacon. Otherwise, I have become a full blown vegetarian thanks to the little guy who now rules my body. My diet is dwindling, my husband is having a difficult time w/o meat, and my son misses his chicken nuggets. : ( 

Even as I add this picture, my stomach churns!

A Gender Reveal, Laced with Guilt

I may sound like a horrible, terrible, very bad mother during this post, but I want to be honest about my feelings and my pregnancy, so here goes!
For the past week or so I've been a little anxious about finding out the gender of baby #2. Yesterday was the big day, and by the time I woke up I had all but decided not to find out what we were having. I wanted to know so I could prepare for this little one, but it made me worried that I would end up being disappointed with the outcome.
To understand why, you need to know a little back story. Joe and I agreed long, long ago that we were only going to conceive two babies of our own. I have always wanted to adopt older children, and we agreed that stopping at two with the making of babies would be best. Although I wasn't completely on board with two at the beginning, after having Liam and dealing with all of the stress and emotions I felt with him, I have whole heartily-agreed. In fact, Joe was the one who had to convince me to have two!
The drive to the ultrasound was stressful and packed with racing thoughts. Knowing that this would be our last gender ultrasound, that whatever gender this baby ended up being was what we had for life, made me so scared! What if I was disappointed? What if I cried? I will feel like such a horrible mom!
With Liam gender didn't really matter to us, we have always wanted one of each, so he was just the first of two. We were thrilled to be having a little man, and I was so sad that I might not feel the same way about the gender of my gummy bear. I should be happy with any healthy baby that was growing inside me, and my biggest fear was that my heart would not agree.
I thought about the dirty looks I would get from the ultrasound tech., the "Oh, I'm so sorry!" from my friends and coworkers who knew about my hopes for one of each, and it was almost unbearable! On the way there, I told Joe I didn't want to know, but when we discussed why not, he told me that he felt the same way. That he was worried he would be disappointed too. But then he brought up a good point, this baby, boy or girl, will be ours and some day we won't even remember feeling this way, because we will love them for who they are.
This made me feel a great deal better, and we decided to find out. When the ultrasound tech. asked if we wanted to know, we both said, "Yes!". Before she could even tell us, I knew. The tell-tale body part that I saw on Liam's ultrasound was plain as day. We were having another boy!

I will admit, I felt a bit of a let down for about 30 seconds, but then an amazing thing happened. The baby started to move. I could feel it and see it. He is beautiful, just like his brother! I have to say that I am mourning the girl section at the store and shopping trips with my little girly-girl just a bit, but I already love this little one, just the way HE is!

Almost Unimaginable

Being a parent has changed many things about me, my husband, our goals, our plans, etc. But the one thing that has never changed is my absolute love for teaching. Even after having Liam and dealing with a year of frustration, stress, and guilt from working full time, the thought of leaving my job never occurred to me. When something is so ingrained in who you are, you can't imagine life without it. Since the moment I got the call from my principal offering me the job, teaching has been like breathing.
When the option to work part-time came about, I was very excited. It offered everything I was looking for! I could be home with my son more, be less stressed about leaving him as well as work, I could still do what I was born and love to do, I could continue to help support our little family, and both Liam and I could have some social time daily. It was the best of both worlds and I loved everything about it!
Working has always been important to me. I love my son, and the baby that is on it's way, which is why I feel so passionate about them seeing the drive and focus I have toward being a teacher. Both Joe and I came from middle class families where all of our parent had to work. My mom didn't get to stay home with me, and because of that I grew up knowing that you have to work for what you want, you have to make goals and strive to reach them. I want my children to know these things as well. Although I want to be there for them as much as possible, I also want them to see how rewarding and important a personal passion and drive are. I have never wanted to be a stay at home mom, not because I don't love every second that I'm with my children, but because I love my career too. I don't want to give that up, nor do I want my children to not know that about their mommy.
A week ago I found out that the schedule that I planned to have this year, had changed in a way that could have definitely caused problems both family-wise, and with childcare. It was even more stressful because the news came with only two weeks to figure out the childcare portion. I called my mom in a panic, crying, stressed, and hyperventilating. Luckily, she was supportive and offered her help until baby #2 comes along.
With this news, not only did my daily schedule and my childcare plan change, but also my maternity plan. I had fully intended to go back to work the beginning of May, but I'm no longer sure that is going to happen. I'm just glad that it happened this year, when I already know I get to be home a good portion of the time.
Last night a co-worker suggested that if it were an option, and if plans continue to be this frazzled, that maybe I should think about taking a leave of absence for a year or two while my kids grow. Until this last week that would have never been an option for me. I love my students, co-workers, and career far too much to leave it, but if things continue to be this unknown and stressful it may be the best option for the coming years. I'm lucky enough to work in a district that supports parenting and that offers up to a two year leave, while still securing my job for the future. This has helped to make this option seem like less of a loss for me. Knowing that I'm not giving up my passion to stay at home, knowing that my job will be waiting for me when the time comes, and knowing that I'm not leaving a wonderful job in a crappy economy are all points that make it easier to consider this option.
Although we have discussed the possibility of me staying home with our two growing babies, we have not even come close to making a decision. Obviously, money is still a concern. We have been working like cattle to pay down debt, and live on a budget for quite a while now and I for one, am loving it! I see our progress daily and feel good about the choices we're making. It scares me to think that these goals and this focus could easily be lost if I were to take a leave. We also have longer-term plans for our family that could be put off or lost all together if staying home becomes my reality. But we are also considering the cost of having two children in childcare vs. my part-time pay check. Would I be working to have someone else watch them? Possibly! We are very blessed that we have a whole year to think these things through, to test it out while I'm on maternity leave, and to work out the details before we have to make a definite choice.
I have always, and I mean always, known that I should be a teacher. I spent my entire education focusing on being not only an educator, but being the best one that I could be. I love my job, and in fact, have never felt as though it is a "job". It is a career, a passion, a calling. Up until yesterday I never thought (not even once) about giving it up. I still wouldn't completely give it up, but taking a break to raise my children is starting to seem like an option I have to consider, both financially and parenting-wise. This is such a difficult decision, and I don't know what to do!

Body Baggage

One of the joys of carrying a baby is the wonderful belly that you grow. It's beautiful and natural and I've always loved the glow that women get while pregnant. However, we don't all carry our growing babies the way that supermodels and actresses do. Unfortunately, it's not just the lovely swollen belly that women gain. As I learned with my first pregnancy, you gain weight everywhere: thighs, butt, breasts, hips, feet....you name it, it gains some volume. With my little man, I gained more than fifty pounds and my whole body changed. I will admit, I didn't watch my eating patterns quite as much as I should have, and being pregnant mainly in the winter, I didn't get as much exercise as I would have liked. Each of these played a part in my growing body, I'm sure of it.
This time around, I made it a point to try to salvage as much of my pre-pregnancy #2 body as possible. I worked very hard after Liam was born to loose the baby weight, eat healthier, and stay active. This resulted in not only loosing the baby-weight, but another 15ish pounds. As of yesterday, I felt as though I was doing a wonderful job of this. Although I have been eating a lot, it has been fruits, veggies, lots of whole grains, and dairy rather than fast foods, chips, cookies, and candy. I have also refused to go down the milk hole that I dug for myself with Liam. I got up to about 3/4 of a gallon a day!
Today though, my larger, normal pants are tighter than they were last time I wore them. I can feel the denim squeezing in on my thighs, my baby belly is muffin-topping over my jeans, and my hips are looking quite a bit wider. I know this did not all happen over-night, but I realized all of these lovely changes once I felt the familiar squeeze. I will continue to focus on my (and subsequently my baby's) health, but I also need to come to the realization that babies come with body baggage, and that I can't keep my body in it's pre-baby condition, while it is focusing on growing a little life. Darn!

Almost 18 weeks!

The Name Game

Ever since Liam was born, Joe and I have been busy at work trying to come up with names for our future babies. The reason for the excessive thought about a future event, is that we had narrowed Liam's name down to two far before he was born, but when the time came to choose we had a lot of difficulty picking. He was nameless for two days after birth, and we don't want to do that again.

We have always had a long list of girl names. Joe and I have very similar thoughts about what we like when it comes to having a daughter. Over the last two years we widdled the list down, and made a definite decision for a little girl (which we will share once we know for sure what we are having). Although we have a name picked, we still have several other girl names approved by both of us, that we are a bit sad not to use.


On the other hand, boys names are so difficult for us! When we walked in to the ultrasound for Liam, we said, "If this is a boy, we have our work cut out for us!". Obviously we were right about that. This time around it's even harder. We have a much shorter list of boy's names, that consist of "my names" and "his names". Neither of us are overly excited about any of the other's names.

Another reason for our indecision about boy names is that Joe is sure that this next little one is a girl, and that we don't even need to think about boy names until the ultrasound tells us otherwise. This frustrates the planner in me! I don't want to have an unnamed child this time around and I think that it's a far better idea to plan for both.

At this point, I think we need some help with boy names. If you have a wonderful boy name that you are willing to share, I would really appreciate your suggestions. My feeling is that the more options we have, the more likely that we will agree on one-hopefully, sooner rather than later!

Yet Another Choice

Written 6/26/12:

Earlier in my pregnancy, I discussed my reasons for choosing to give birth to my children in a hospital setting. After my last prenatal appointment, my husband and I discovered that where to have our little gummy bear wasn't the only birth-related choice we would have to make. Ever since I found out I was pregnant with Liam, I was terrified that I would need a c-section. I even went so far as to turn off A Baby Story whenever it followed a woman who was having one, planned or not. I hated the idea, but had a feeling deep down that it would end up being the way my son would enter this world.
I was right. Between being positioned in a complicated way, Liam having his daddy's head, and me being on the smaller side, having a c-section became the safest option after 24 hours of labor and two hours of pushing without progress. I cried through the whole procedure. I was so scared that something would go wrong and felt like a failure as a mother because I couldn't even push my kid out the "right" way. Once I saw my son and heard what my doctor had to say, those feelings were gone. I still feel guilty from time to time, but I know for a fact that it was what was best for my son and myself.
Soon after Liam's birth, I decided that I would like to try to have baby #2 naturally, if possible. I had already been told that many hospitals (including the one where my midwife practices) will not accommodate a vaginal birth after a c-section due to the risks to baby and mommy and the doctors that would be needed on call. Although this was frustrating, I didn't let that stop me from looking into the possibilities. I found out that OHSU and the McMinnville hospital are both open and equipped to give it a go.
I decided to ask my beloved midwife about what I would have in store, if I were to choose this route. I trust her opinion more than anyone else's when it comes to pregnancy, labor, and recovery. She is amazing! Unfortunately for my husband and I, at the next appointment, her partner in the practice had to facilitate my appointment. Even though I wanted Nan's opinion, I asked her associate about the possibility. She was so excited that we were interested and made it seem like a wonderful choice. We were pretty excited to hear that there may be a possibility for me to try again.
Luckily for us, we saw Nan in the hallway on our way out and mentioned our plan to her. Instantly we could tell that she was concerned. Within seconds, she gave us several reasons to think about the option more before making a decision. So we did. We read every article, every statistic, every personal post we could find, about having what is called VBAC.
It didn't take us long to realize that this was in no way the option for us! A VBAC requires constant fetal and mommy monitoring above and beyond the usual labor. There are sensors placed on the babies head throughout the labor and monitors covering just about every inch of my body. More than a couple of doctors and nurses would be involved, as well as several more on call in case of complications. If there is the slightest hiccup, the doctors will preform an emergency c-section.
My original thoughts were that having a natural childbirth would be more relaxing in some way, feel more "right", but a VBAC sounds like the opposite of that! I hate, as I always have, the thought of having another c-section, but my unborn child's health is far more important than my thoughts about "how things should be". A VBAC sounds stressful, uncomfortable, and in no way- natural. The thought of going through something like that without Nan, scares me more than I can put into words. I trust her with my life and (more importantly) the lives of both of my children, and if she were not there to help me through the process, I know it would be harder than I could bare.
There are also much higher risks for me and the baby, if something goes wrong. There is the risk that my uterus will rupture, causing severe blood loss and oxygen deprivation for my baby. This would require an emergency c-section and could carry even more risks for both of us. Every risk associated with a c-section is heightened if it becomes an emergency situation, and having a ruptured uterus and fetal distress carry even more risks. The risk of the baby having long-term neurological damage or even dying, are far higher if a c-section is needed after the VBAC process has begun.
For these reasons, my husband and I have crossed that option off the list. Having a VBAC would be a selfish thing to do, knowing that it could be harmful (or even deadly) for my baby. If I had one, it would be for me and my sense of pride, and that is not what is important. I will be having a scheduled c-section and for the first time, I am completely at peace with it. I know it is the safest decision I could make for my baby and myself. It's my job to protect him/her and this is just one of the first ways I will be doing that.

Pregnancy Addiction

Written 6/20/12:

Throughout my pregnancy with Liam, I had only one craving- milk. I drank about a half gallon a day, which is in no way normal for me. But I didn't really feel the whole "craving" thing. Based on TV shows, movies, and information given to me by other women about their pregnancy cravings, I felt like the milk thing was nothing. This pregnancy however, has been filled with firsts, including cravings.
For the past month or so, I have not been able to get enough fruit. Any fruit will do, I'm not picky, but I have to eat at least one a day. Lucky for me, it's the time of year where fruit is plentiful and there are several varieties to choose from. I have been taking full advantage of our local farmer's market, fruit stands, and the produce aisle at the grocery store. I hope that this craving doesn't continue into the winter, because I'm sure I will get pretty tired of bananas and oranges.
Yesterday, my mom brought me cherries picked from a friend's tree. They are my favorite, Royal Anne. She brought me a grocery bag filled with them! I was so excited that I got started on them right away, and couldn't stop eating them all night. Before cherries (and even still now), the cravings have included peaches, nectarines, apples, bananas, fresh pineapple, blueberries, strawberries, and plums.
I have always loved fruit, but this is crazy! I guess if I have to be addicted to something while pregnant, fruit is not a bad thing to "need". But after this, I sure hope that my cravings don't shift to something like fast food or candy, because it feels like eating what my body wants is like needing to breathe and I'm not sure I could say "No!" for very long.

Yet another addiction caused by my babies! : )

What No One Tells You About Pregnancy

Written 6/4/12:

This is my second time around, which has reminded me of all of the little things about being pregnant that I was not at all prepared for. Sure, everyone knows your going to gain weight, have to pee every 5 minutes, have a hard time sleeping, maybe even have morning sickness. But there are several symptoms, situations, and uh.....lets just say, after effects that no one deems important enough to share with you before hand. Here is my list of things that women need to know about pregnancy, that I wish I would have known.

#1- Not all ultrasounds happen as you see them on sitcoms: I was shocked....ok, horrified when my doctor explained that I was too early on and that my first ultrasound with my son would be an internal one. What?! I had no idea this was even a thing. The only ultrasound experiences I had ever been privy to included gooey gel on the belly. So comfortable and sweet looking. Nope. This is not the case if you get an ultrasound earlier in your pregnancy.  Most done that early requires being done internally. It wasn't as bad as I thought, but it would have been nice to know ahead of time.

#2- Cramping doesn't necessarily mean a miscarriage: Before getting pregnant with Liam I read several books, countless blogs/advice posts, and magazine articles about early pregnancy. They all specifically made statements explaining the correlation between early cramping and miscarriages. This scared the crap out of me when at six weeks pregnant I started cramping excessively. This was made worse by the fact that I rarely cramp during my menstrual cycle, so not only were "experts" from all corners saying my pregnancy was doomed, but it was also extremely abnormal for me. However, my son is here, happy, and healthy and I have since learned that this is completely common in the early months. Your uterus is expanding to make room for the little visitor and the cramps are just part of the process.

#3- You never regain bladder control: This too was a shock! I have heard my whole life about the pressure your bladder feels while a baby resides near it (which makes perfect sense), but no one ever told me that knowing where a bathroom is would still be an issue months later. Also, beware of the sneeze-pee!

#4- Charlie-Horses: This was by far the worst symptom of pregnancy that I faced, and I didn't even know it was coming. It didn't start until about the 6th month, but from that point on I would wake up screaming and in pain several times a week. Joe had several sleepless nights because of my response, so maybe warn your husbands too.

#5- Your baby will be a literal pain in your butt: The siatic nerve is one that stretches from your back to the bottom of your leg. If your baby is sitting just right, they trigger this nerve and the pain can vary (in my experience) from slight aching to severe shooting pains in the rear. I have heard that it can go down the leg as well, but mine stayed put directly in the center of my right butt cheek. It felt like getting a shot constantly for weeks. Not fun!

#6- Swelling doesn't just happen to your feet: I had minimal swelling of the feet throughout my pregnancy with Liam. It wasn't until the week before he was born that I noticed my shoes didn't fit quite as well as they used to and my wedding ring was a bit snug. Actually, it wasn't until the day I went into labor that the swelling was really an issue. However, it took days to go away even after our little man had entered the world. My hands ballooned up to about three times their normal size, my face and arms followed suit. I felt bigger after labor than I ever did before hand. Great for your post-pregnancy self-esteem!

I'm sure that there are several more tidbits that I could add to this list, but they haven't been triggered yet. Once my little bean sprout starts making itself known I'll add anything that I think newbies should be aware of. Happy baby growing!

Birthing Choices

Written on 5/31:

Everyone has to do what is right for themselves and their family, especially when it comes to parenting. This post is in no way supposed to be a sermon about the "right" way to give birth (as if there were such a thing), but I just want to share my reasons for choosing to give birth to not only my son, but the one on the way, in a hospital setting and with a mid-wife.
There has always been a lot of talk about natural child birth, mid-wives, epidurals, c-sections, and so on. As a soon-to-be parent all of these choices and the opinions that surround them, can seem overwhelming and confusing. I believe that the very first rule about choosing your labor plan is deciding what YOU want. Once you know this, it's important to surround yourself with supportive people.
For my husband and I, the safety of a hospital setting was what we felt most comfortable in. My mom had some labor complications with two of her four daughters (one of them was me), and I just wanted the security of a highly trained hospital staff by my side in case there were complications with my labor. Also, I have friends who would not have their little ones today if they had not been in a hospital at the time of their child's birth. I know that this is not necessarily typical, but for me any risk was to high.
This turned out to be the best choice for us, considering my son was angled down and to the left, has a large head, and after hours of pushing was hopelessly stuck. When he finally made his debut, he had not only a large bruise but also a blister the size of a penny on the top of his head, thanks to all of my smoshing and squeezing. I don't know what would have happened to either of us, had we not been in the setting we were in.
I also liked the nursing support that was offered to me while in and even after leaving the hospital. Within an hour of my son being born a lactation consultant was there helping me and Liam figure it out. We had a rough start, so the support, encouragement, and expertise were really the only things that kept me going. Newberg hospital is so pro-nursing that they offer donor breast milk which has been processed and screened to make sure it is clean and healthy. Because we had to take advantage of this the first few days out of the hospital, I am confident that we would have had to supplement with formula had that option not been there.
To help me stick to my birth-plan and to feel 100% comfortable with any situation that arose, I wanted to choose a doctor that we trust and can rely on no matter what. For us, this was a mid-wife who had delivered two of my siblings and my nephew. It was nice to have a bit of a mix within the plan. We had the hospital setting, but the mid-wife running the show. This helped us to feel as though our wishes would be followed unless it was absolutely necessary to deviate from them.
She was more supportive than I could ever imagine, and when the time came to have a c-section, I was confident that it was not only the best option for me and my son, but the safest. I trust her with any decision, and if she tells me it's what's best for me and my baby, it's what I'm going to do! Having a hospital birth was not a difficult decision in any way. It was what was best for me and my baby boy. But choosing someone that you trust whole-heartedly was a far more important piece of the birthing puzzle.

Who to tell?

Written 5/29/12:

One of the hardest decisions to make when you find out your going to have a baby, is who to tell and when to tell them. My husband and I have very different opinions on this question. He, being someone who thinks quite logically and puts a great deal of thought (and an hour of pondering) into which light bulb to choose, strongly believes that we should wait to tell anyone until we get through the "dreaded" first trimester. He has some pretty sound reasons for this. Well one, sound reason to be more precise: if anything happens and it doesn't work out, he doesn't want to explain it over and over again.
I on the other hand, thought of this exact situation as a reason to tell those who are closest to us. I know that if something were to happen to this pregnancy, I would want to talk to my mom, sisters, and closest friends. I would want their support through what I'm sure would be, the hardest thing I would ever have to go through.
But how to decide who "wins"? This is such a difficult decision either way. I too can see where my hubby is coming from. I wouldn't want to have to explain a miscarriage to my co-workers or have awkward moments at the next family gathering. He could also see my side of the coin as well. Even with these main points in mind, there is always the excitement of the situation. It took almost all of my willpower to not shout it from the rough tops the second I saw the little pink plus sign.
After much discussion, we decided to meet somewhere in the middle. We agreed to tell close family and a select few friends early on, I plan to tell a couple of my co-workers right before school ends, and the rest of our family and friends once we reached twelve weeks. This way we have our life-line and support, but also protected ourselves from any possible complications.
This worked very well for us when I was pregnant with Liam, but it didn't come without stress. When you choose to tell a select few a very exciting secret, you always worry that the news will leak. Social media can add a little something extra to this. All it takes is one little slip-up and the whole world knows! Once again, we got very lucky last time and this didn't happen in our situation. Telling the people in your life that you are expecting is a personal decision that has to serve your purpose. It wasn't easy to choose a path, but it was the right one for us.

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

Written May 28th:

This isn't just the title to an amazing song, it's what Joe and I have been doing since December. When Joe and I decided we wanted to start a family, we had to work hard for it. I'm a teacher, and because I wanted to make the most of my time at home with my future baby, we felt as though we were on a pretty tight schedule. Lucky for us, Liam was on his way right away. It only took us one month, and we were future parents. This time it was a bit more complicated. We are in a much better situation financially, so time of the year didn't play quite as much of a role, but it was still a consideration.
The new factors to consider were the short-term disability policy that we took out after the first of the year. For the policy to kick in, we had to wait at least a month. We did. When the month was over, we were still in the process of a renovation project that was taking place in Liam's room, which meant he was sleeping in our room. We got creative, but with all of the stress associated with a toddler in your room, plastic and dust filling your house, and a bit of potty training, the end of that cycle didn't come with news of a little sibling for our big guy.
The next chance we got, we put a little more effort into it. But once again, no dice. Between preparing for the party of the century (otherwise known as Liam's 2nd Birthday) and studying/taking an assessment that could change my career path, we once again didn't get the outcome we were hoping for. Life had gotten in the way of our efforts twice, and I was starting to get a bit discouraged.
I have known many people who have had far worse luck with conceiving, so I tried to keep my emotions in check and my hopes high. It just seemed so much harder this time around. As I said before, Liam happened the first try, and that was the only experience Joe and I had with this process. Lucky for us, the third time was the charm! We found out mid-May that we would be welcoming a new member to the family some time in January.
I learned a great deal throughout the many months that baby #2 took to prepare for, plan for, and try for and I think that I appreciate this pregnancy and the work it took to achieve it, more than I did with the last. I have already been reminded, that nothing having to do with little ones goes as planned....they make sure of that!