Brooks Road Trip 2019: Memphis

Well, our time in Memphis is coming to an end. We packed so much into our day and a half here. We had planned to get to Memphis around lunch time Monday, but road trips and three kids are not conducive to plans. Instead, we got here around check-in time at our Airbnb, so we came straight here. Let me tell you, this loft had us impressed with Memphis from the get go. It feels enormous! There is exposed brick everywhere, everything is open concept, one of the bedrooms used to be an old elevator shaft, there are two massive islands in the kitchen and three gorgeous french doors that look out over Main st. The kiddos especially love the put-put golf, Foosball table and the giant Jenga game.

After such a long day of driving, and ending up in such a lovely place, it was sooooo hard to get us all out on the streets of Memphis. Knowing that we only had until Wednesday, we powered through and headed to Beale street for some sightseeing and an early dinner. When we booked our Airbnb, we were mindful of it's location, but didn't quite realize how perfect it is until we made the 5-6 block walk. It is just far enough away to be quiet, but close enough for a quick walk to many sights.

On Beale st. we wandered down and back, then decided on a little restaurant called The Pig on Beale for dinner. It was delicious barbecue! Joe had a pulled pork plate and I had the sandwich. The BBQ sauce was spicy and sweet and the fries were crunchy (just the way I like them). After dinner, we wandered the street some more. When we first arrived on Beale, there were few people out, but now it was starting to get busier. We noticed that many shops are closed on Sundays and Mondays, so maybe that was one reason why it was so quiet. We did find a little shop called The Sugar Shack and picked out some sweets to take back to our loft. Then we wandered home through Main street to see what was near us. Once back, we all crashed. It had been a long day and a movie and some food was all that it took to convince us to rest.

Tuesday morning everyone (but me) slept in, so I got some time to read. Once everyone was up, Joe and I started researching plans for the day. Normally, we are plan-it-out people, but our plan for this trip was to find cities were wanted to see, but knew nothing about. Once we had a city itinerary, we did no planning. We knew that if we knew about all the sites in each area, we would get overwhelmed and try to pack too much in. Instead, we are picking prime location Airbnbs and only seeing sites within walking distance or on public transportation. No car rides between traveling from city to city. I have to say, I am loving this plan! At least in Memphis, it feels like we are really seeing the city, not just the touristy sites (but we are seeing a lot of those too).


Anyway, we decided on The National Civil Rights Museum as our first stop. Our loft is on a historic trolley line, and when I say on, I mean ON. Our front door is directly in front of a stop. So, we took the trolley to the museum. It was a wonderful way to see this part of the city and get to our destination quickly. The remnants of Tropical Storm Barry were passing through, so there was quite a bit of rain Tuesday morning and while we are Oregonians, our kiddos would lose steam quickly if we made them brave it too long.

The museum was AMAZING! The museum is housed in the hotel that Martin Luther King was assassinated. To have the view of the walkway where such an inspirational man died as the first thing you witness, is a powerful way to start. I felt emotional before we even stepped foot in the museum. Once inside, you are taken through the history of Africans being brought to America, their struggle through slavery, what they had to overcome after slavery "ended"- segregation, discrimination, poverty, harassment, brutality from the government, etc.

The kids had wonderful questions and took each part of the museum seriously. I have had so many people ask us why we do such "grown up" things with our kids. This is why. We want them to know and process and become who they are because they are aware of the world around them and the history that it has. Towards the end of the museum tour, we were pointed to the boarding house across the street, where the assassin hid in wait. It is now a part of the museum as well. Joe and I wanted to take time to read through all the information in this building, as we had in the last, but after two hours, the kids were hungry and beginning to lose interest. I plan to do some research to try to piece together what we missed.

After the museum, we walked a few blocks back to Beale street for lunch. We went to the Blues City Cafe and loved every bite! Joe and I shared a pork po boy and later we all shared a slice of pecan pie with the best ice cream we have ever eaten. It was exactly what we needed to keep our day of exploring going. If you are ever in Memphis, the Blues City Cafe should be on your list!

Next, we walked to the Memphis Fire Museum. It was so fun for the kids! The first building was a historic focus on the equipment used by fire fighters throughout American history, an area for kids with interactive information about when to call 911 and a monument for firefighters killed on 9/11. The second building was a firehouse themed playground. There was an interactive area with safety games, including a fire simulator and a maze where fire safety is incorporated into your ability to make it through.

After the museum, we headed to the gigantic pyramid housed by a Bass Pro shop. Oregonians think that Cabela's is a cool place to visit, we haven't seen anything! This place was huge and filled with outdoor scenery. It felt like a bayou that was teaming with animals. After wandering the shop, we took an elevator to the top of the pyramid to see the view of the city. We learned during our long ride up, that there is a restaurant at the top and a hotel in the pyramid. Our kids are convinced that we will be coming back to Memphis soon and will be staying there.

After taking in the view and a bit more exploring in the store, we took the trolley back to our loft and had a little rest before dinner. We walked a couple blocks to the very famous Rendezvous. Another amazing BBQ experience! This time we had pork nachos and brisket. I tried to get a picture, but everyone dug in so fast that there wasn't much left. Our final stop of the night was a repeat visit to the Sugar Shack for something sweet. Again, a movie and showers was all that it took for everyone to be ready for a long rest.

We have loved our time in Memphis and our home away from home, the Rock and Soul Loft. We can't wait to come back in the future. Today, we are headed to Nashville! It is about a three hour drive from Memphis, so we are hoping to head out soon and get there around lunch time.......we'll see.

Details and Links:
Rock and Soul Loft AirBnb
Pig on Beale
Beale Sweets Sugar Shack
National Civil Rights Museum
Blues City Cafe
Fire Museum of Memphis
Bass Pro Pyramid
Rendezvous

Brooks Road Trip 2019: Minneapolis, Iowa City and Chicago

I had every intention of writing a daily entry of our travels, but we are having so much fun and have been going until we drop. So much so, that this is the first quiet moment I have had to write. Fair warning, because so much has happened already, you are in for a long post.

Day One and Day Two: Portland to Minneapolis

Our family woke up very early Thursday morning to hop our flight to Minneapolis. For those who know me, you know that this flight brought panic at the thought. You will all be happy to know that it was a wonderful flight. The flight itself was smooth and uneventful, but more importantly, all three children were great. The only issue we had was Maylee's ears hurting on decent. That was a tough twenty minutes, but nothing compared to the flight home from Korea. This time, I understood why she was sad, we were able to talk it through, and it was a small portion of the trip. I felt terrible for her though. She kept saying, "There are bees in my ears!" "They are buzzing and stinging me!" Once we landed, we had a happy girl again.

From the airport, we traveled to Bloomington, just outside Minneapolis. This is where my dear friend Emily and her family live. She and I met on swim team way back in high school and have been close ever since. Last year, the Thell family came to Oregon to visit us, so we knew we wanted to start off our big road trip with them.

Minnesota was wonderful. Thursday, we ate our first Chick-fil-a meal,the kiddos played together and we had Chinese food for dinner. The big news though, was the movie/sleepover that was had by the kiddos. While it took several hours for them to fall asleep, the memories they were making we worth all the sleepy struggles.

Friday, We visited the Minnesota Zoo. Everyone in Oregon says that our zoo is the best. Now, I disagree. The Minnesota Zoo is huge, gorgeously laid out, has so many exhibits and other attractions including a carousel, an aquarium, a play structure and a splash pad. The kids had an absolute blast. We saw a really interesting bird show, saw lots of animals that we haven't seen before, and touched sharks!

After the zoo, we headed back to the house, rested for a bit, then paddle boat rides began. Alex and Emily's yard backs up to a large pond, so naturally my children begged to go out on it from the moment we arrived. The smiles on their faces, when Alex paddled each of them around, were priceless. After a delicious dinner of Tater Tot Hot Dish (a Midwest favorite), the kids played in the pool for a bit, then preparations for another sleepover were underway. This time, everyone was tired, so the movie night was much calmer and everyone drifted off to sleep easier.

Day Three: Minneapolis to Iowa City

Saturday morning, we had to get up bright and early to get on the road. We said our goodbyes, packed up the van and hit the road. Heading to Iowa was bittersweet. We were so excited to make to our next stop and the people we would see there, but we were going to miss the Thell family too. The kids really bonded this trip. Last year, when the Thells came to see us in Oregon, the kids played well, but not necessarily together. Also, this time there was a new member of the crew- Baby Charlie had joined the pack and Maggie and Maylee have grown into a more social stage. They were all good buddies from the get-go this time around and I hope that continues.

Our drive to Iowa City was about 4 1/2 hours of farms, corn and cows. It was an easy drive and actually felt like it went fairly quick. Our destination was the Iowa Children's Museum in Coralville. I was a bit nervous about this stop. Here we were going to meet the Avitt family. Claire and Maylee were loved by the same foster family in Korea. They were sisters for a year and we have tried to keep the connection strong. We talk about "Iya", as Maylee calls her, and look at pictures often. I was a tad worried though. Adoption struggles are unpredictable. One day talking about the past is great, the next it brings on waves of grief. I wasn't sure where an actual visit would lead us.

Guess what?! It was AMAZING!! I am so thankful that we could make this visit happen. It took a bit for Maylee to warm up, but once she did, it was like they had never parted ways. We saw the bond that was clear in Korea when we went to our family visits. Of course, the boys had no problems, whatsoever. Liam, Nolan, and Jacob bonded on our court trip and that seemed to come back instantly. We spent hours together, watching the kids play and talking about our first year and a half home. I can't find words to describe the magic we witnessed in the Children's Museum.

After the playing like crazy, we had dinner together and got to see how similar the girls still are. They ordered the exact same meal and ate it in the same order. It's now in hindsight, thinking through all the details of the day, that I realize who bonded these girls are. They share a history we were not a part of. They were there for each other before we could be. That is a powerful thing. These goodbyes were so hard. Giving our last hugs and talking about future trips, made it better, but boy was it hard to leave.

Even after our visit, I was a bit worried on the effects of our time together. Would Maylee grieve again? Would seeing "Iya" confuse her? Again, my worries were unwarranted. We have talked about the Avitt family nonstop since parting ways, but every word has been a happy one. Every mention has come with a smile. This visit was what our little girl needed and, I'm coming to realize as I write, I needed it too.

Our next stop was Chicago, which was about 3 1/2 hours from Iowa City, so we hit the road after dinner to make some headway. We made it to Ottawa, which is about an hour and a half outside the city.

Day Four: Chicago

We made it to Chicago Sunday morning. The only thing on our agenda was meeting up with my cousin Ryan and his wife Lisa. They had already planned a trip to the beach, so we met them there. We have never been to this area of the country and had no idea what to expect from a day on a Chicago beach, but we were blown away! It was warm, breezy, and the water was perfect. It took about 30 seconds for my children to be swimming in Lake Michigan. Because we are Oregonians and we can't even call out coast "beaches", naturally the water felt like a pool. We spent two hours playing in the sand, visiting and swimming. It was a perfectly low-key morning.

Next we headed into the city to see Ryan and Lisa's new home. It is in a lovely neighborhood, filled with tree lined streets, shops and restaurants. Next we headed to a nearby pizzeria to try Chicago Deep Dish Pizza. Let me tell you, it was delicious! It was also very filling, so one slice makes a meal. After eating, we headed back to pick up some laundry that they were nice enough to let us wash and say some more goodbyes. Again, leaving was tough. We absolutely love Chicago (at least the very small part of it we got to see), so we know we will be back. Also, of course, our visit was far too short. Next time, we'll make a proper trip of it.

Heading out of Chicago, our plan was to get as far as we could, so that our drive today would be shorter. Our next stop is Memphis, which is about an eight hour drive from Chicago. We made it a good portion of the way, stopping in a little town called Effingham. We totally picked it based on it's roughly halfway location and it's name. When I was doing some research into where to stop, I saw this town then poked around for potential restaurants and hotels to stay in. What clenched our plans, was finding the Effing Brew Pub on the list of possibilities. We couldn't pass up a trip to the Effing Brew Pub! Unfortunately, the pub was closed, so we found another cute restaurant and headed to our hotel. We finally made it to a hotel with a pool and made it early enough to swim, so that's how we ended our day.

Today, we are headed to Memphis and our first Airbnb. It's another 4 1/2 hours from here, so we hope to make it around lunch time.

Details and Links:
Minnesota Zoo
Iowa Children's Museum
North Avenue Beach, Chicago

A Letter to Teachers: Let this Ignite Us

Dear Fellow Teachers,

After watching the horrifying video pictured below several times, a wave of absolute sadness hit me. Then, and without warning, a tsunami of anger. This is not our America. This is not what we stand for.

I have spent the past few years terrified and confused about the future of our country. I have buried my head in the sand, just waiting for things to get better. I am not talking about politics. I am talking about an epidemic of hate and the growing tolerance for it.

No more.

The faces of those young men- smug, arrogant, yet so so so ignorant. Those faces are hiding in our classrooms. They are lurking in our halls. While I wish I could say with certainty, they are not, I know I would be wrong.

We can change this. We can stop this.

Yes, I know.....but social media, but friends, but parents, and youtube, and media, etc. etc.

We are on the front lines. We are this country's first line of defense against what brought those boys to that spot. To stand in front of a Vietnam Veteran- a man who fought for them and the country they live in. A man who's ancestors have more right over this land than any other man ever has.

Those faces haunt me. They also ignite me.

We can hit this hard. We can make an impact. 

You may say, "my classroom is small in comparison" and you would be right. But multiply your current student population by the numbers of years you have/will teach. Thousands of hearts to change and lessons to be learned.

This battle is just beginning. I am awake. I am ready to take this one. I am ready to fight for MY country.

See you Tuesday.

Mrs. B

Sea Foam Green with Polka Dots

Three years ago. Three, long, years ago. I wandered through Target looking for random gift ideas to fill our gift closet.

*Important Side Note: If you do not have a gift closet, I highly suggest you get started on one. Every time I visit a store, I take a look in the various clearance sections, to find things that could be given as gifts in the future. This is a huge money saver and is perfect for last minute birthday invites or those "oops, I totally forgot that is tomorrow!" moments. Also, if you find that something you purchased isn't being used, you can donate it to a shelter or a fundraiser. 

Anyway, back to the story....

Three years ago, I was looking in the children's clothing section. I filled my cart with clothes of all sizes, for boys and girls, and for any season. At the time, many of our friends were still adding to their families and/or had little ones, so I knew that I could find an immediate use for most of them.

When I got home, I began unpacking my finds and organizing them into the sections of my gift closet. One particular outfit stuck out to me. The most adorable sea foam green top with white polka dots, with matching jean shorts with the same green swirling around the legs. I thought to myself, "If I had a daughter, this is what I would want to dress her in". Knowing that we had decided not to have more babies, I packed the outfit away with the rest of our future gifts. 

Over and over again, I would go into this closet, looking for the perfect gift for the baby shower, birthday party, retirement gift, etc. etc. Each time, taking an extra look at that adorable outfit. Each time it would be an appropriate gift, I would consider giving it away- sometimes even putting it in the bag, but I would always change my mind and pull it back out. I couldn't, and still can't, explain my reasoning. It just felt right to keep it.

Each time I was reminded of the outfit, I was reminded of the daughter I felt was missing. Each time, it would rekindle the thoughts that led me to believe our family was not complete.

Fast forward three years. Yesterday, my sweet Maylee- the reason for my hesitation, the reason why our family was not yet complete, wore that very outfit.

It was not deliberate. I have not spent the last three years eagerly awaiting the chance to clothe our daughter in this outfit. In fact, it was buried in one of her dresser drawers. I happened upon it, when digging for one more pair of 18 month shorts.

It wasn't until yesterday evening, scrolling through the pictures of she and I splashing in a fountain, that it hit me how long that outfit had been waiting for our little girl. I can not describe how powerful that realization was. 

Daily Reminders

It's been a while since I posted something. I have been waiting for this grand, interesting topic to appear. That hasn't happened. Each day looks very much like the last. The struggles we had a month ago, are the same struggles we have today (albeit to a much smaller extent) and the beautiful moments of bonding and love are the same (albeit more frequent than before).

Uphill

Each day is a baby step toward becoming whole again- for all of us. Each day, I learn a little bit more about our girl and these new brothers of a girl that I hadn't known before. Each day, I face failures and triumphs- most of which are not seen or measurable, but felt.

There are so many amazing things that come with adoption and I am so thankful to have found this path, and in turn, our little girl. We are so thankful for the bonds we have created with fellow adoptive families- those connections run deep. I feel like I need some profound words of wisdom, but there really aren't any. We just have to take our days hour by hour and learn about each other in a new way.

As our life settles in and we begin to feel as though each day is more "normal", we realize just how far we've come. From the first week, when all we saw and heard from our girl was sadness and confusion, to giggles and constant chatter (mostly in Hangul). From sleepless nights co-sleeping, to on average two wake ups in her own room, in her own bed. From frequent meltdowns without a clear reason, to more understanding, or as close to it as you can get with a two year old.

All of our relationships are growing and strengthening, and our daily schedules are solidifying and becoming the norm. Our family is adjusting very well for only being two months home, and there are aspects of the past three-ish months that I didn't plan or prepare for.

My body is finally on the mend. With lack of sleep, feeling high stress and anxiety about the future, and a constant pull to focus on everything, my body started to panic. My skin (which has always caused me grief) started looking, well, old. The color was gone, my wrinkles intensified and the bags under my eyes grew in size and darkened. I remember the dark circles with the boys too, but the rest was new. In the first couple weeks home, I lost five pounds due to sleep/eating patterns being off and many other focuses than food. Now, eight weeks later, I have gained it all back plus some. That may not sound like much, but for someone who is under five feet tall, fluctuating almost ten pounds in less than two months is huge. I have felt run down and unhealthy the entire transition.

About a week ago, I started going to bed early. The first step in becoming me again. I can finally get out and exercise- thank you mother nature for giving us sun. Now that I am home and settled, I can meal plan better so we are eating healthier. I am finally feeling a tad like myself.

Life home has been both a huge blessing and challenging. I love my time with my kiddos and I know this will be my last opportunity for this kind of family focus. I miss my work and I miss it dearly. I love the time to bond with Maylee and I miss my time with adults (and middle schoolers). I love the snuggles and pace of being home. I miss the creativity of my classroom. I am so thankful that I was able to take the rest of the school year off to focus on my family and the transition with Maylee, and I did not anticipate missing my work quite this much, nor quite this early.

I am reminding myself every morning and every night (and any other quiet, calm moments throughout the day) that this is special, important time and I need to cherish it. Even when cherishing it is tough. Even when my students email me to tell me of their accomplishments. Even when I am tired. Even when the fighting between siblings is at it's height. Even when the stinker face is the only expression I have seen. Even when the words "no", "stop", "please", and "why?!" are the only things I have said.

All of those "even ifs" have happened today, by the way.

This is special time. Hard. Very hard. But very important special time.