Earlier this week, my husband and I almost made a horrible financial decision. For the past eight months we have been working on a financial plan that is smart, doable, and will help us be debt free ASAP. We have done an amazing job so far! We have stuck to our budget almost every month, and even if we don't it's by a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Either way, we have done some great things with our money and already have quite a bit to show for it.
It hasn't all been easy and happy though. I have had a difficult time with the no vacation part of this budget. Before we got pregnant with our little gummy bear, we had fully planned to take a small family vacation this summer, our last one just the three of us. But since the news hit, we switched the plan just a tad and decided to try to pay off the car sooner, making it easier for me to stay home after the baby is born. This change of plans required no family vaca.
It's been hard, but worth it! There are days when I wish I could be planning something fun, but that has really been then only difficult part of the financial plan. I don't mind the budget at all, because I have really gotten into couponing we have saved tons of money on food, and I love seeing our debt dwindle so quickly (thanks Sarah for the arrow idea!).
But things almost came undone when we decided to use the extra cash we have been accruing through garage sales and watching a friend's little girl to restore my Grandma Smith's armchairs. She passed away a year ago January, and since her passing they have been hanging out in our garage. We were a bit naive when we thought about a budget for the chairs. We were hoping that we would have some money left over to put towards the car payment. Little did we know, that it would take all of what we had saved to do just one of the two chairs.
In the heat and excitement of the moment, we decided to have both done, planning to pay the second one off by adding the bill to our monthly budget and paying it off as soon as we could. The second we left the shop we began doubting our decision. We had been working so hard for months, had stuck to our budget, and missed out on a family vacation, and now it seemed that was all about to go down the drain. It was so hard to decide what to do, because obviously the chairs are important to me and hold tremendous sentimental value, but our budget and life plans mean a lot to us as well.
After a night to think it over, we decided to go ahead and have one of the chairs refurbished now since we could pay for it in cash and in full without touching/hindering our budget in any way, and then once the car is paid off, take two months off putting that payment toward the first student loan and save to have the second chair done. This way, our plan stays the same, we get a bit of reward for doing so well now (the first chair) and a second one (the second chair) once the car is paid off.
This decision gave us the best of both worlds. We keep to our budget, get both chairs done, pay off the car as planned, and get to continue on with our financial plan without a hitch. I'm so proud of us for coming to this decision. We have never been big impulse buyers and have always been somewhat financially aware/responsible, but this situation showed both of us just how much we have grown as a couple, as a family, and as adults. Nothing can stop us from reaching our goals, on time and under budget!
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Friday, July 27, 2012
To Leash or Not to Leash?
Ever since seeing the episode of Modern Family where the family takes a trip to Disneyland and Cam puts Lily on a "child safety tether", this controversial choice has been on my mind. Before having a child, I thought that people who used leashes were crazy and lazy. But after listening to some parent discussion about it, I was a little more receptive to the idea. Right after this episode aired, there was a segment on Good Morning America discussing the pros and cons of leashing your children.
There were the usual and common sense cons: you are treating your child like a pet and it's embarrassing for the child. But then there were the pros: children have the ability to explore in a more independent way, they can walk freely without holding hands, and most of all, it keeps them within a safe distance and gives you the power to keep them out of unsafe situations.
Like Lily on Modern Family, Liam can be a runner at times, and I worry about his safety when we are out and about. What if I can't reach him fast enough? What if he gets lost? and some of the pros sounded like they may be just good enough to try it. What if all of those disgusted, dirty looks are unwarranted? What if the leash really is the best way to go? But then we went to a local park with a fountain for toddlers and babies, and all the evidence I needed to make an informed decision, was right in front of me.
Like all of the other kids at the park, Liam was playing in the water and running a muck. At one point, I noticed that he was playing with a little girl who must have been about a year old. I also noticed that the little girl was crawling around in the fountain attached to a leash. Liam kept trying to get her to follow him, and when the little girl tried she had to pull her mother along with her, which slowed her down considerably.
It wouldn't have been quite so difficult for her to keep up with Liam, if her mother were paying attention to her daughter and not having, what seemed to be, a very focused phone conversation. I realized that the mother wasn't even looking at her daughter most of the time. She even had her back to her on a regular basis. At this point, I realized that I was right about this topic from the beginning. At least for this mom, putting her child on the leash meant that she could take that phone call and ignore the actions of her child while she was playing. It helped her to be a lazy parent!
Every pro that was listed in the morning news segment is only present if the parent is still involved, and the observations that I have made do not support that this is the norm. Although this woman was the most blatantly distant parent, I have witnessed many similar situations: a child wearing a leash while climbing on a fence, the mom having a conversation with a friend, back turned from the child; a kid trying to pull their parent through the store, while the parent ignores them; (now this is gross) a baby eating something off the ground while the mother eats lunch. Obviously, it's not always safer for a child to be on a leash.These observations made me realize, that maybe lazy parents are not always the ones who pick to leash their children, but the leash gives parents a false sense of safety and security, so they become lazy and disinterested.
When at the park I discussed earlier, my husband and I were engaged in play with our son, we enjoyed observing his play with other children, we have memories of that day that make us smile. It makes me sad that the mother of the young girl doesn't have that. I came to the same realization at the end of this trip, that Cam and Mitchell came to at the end of the hilarious episode. Parents keep their children safe, not a leash. Safety is my number one concern for my son, and I believe that it is safer for me to be an interested and engaged parent than it is for me to put him on a "child safety tether".
There were the usual and common sense cons: you are treating your child like a pet and it's embarrassing for the child. But then there were the pros: children have the ability to explore in a more independent way, they can walk freely without holding hands, and most of all, it keeps them within a safe distance and gives you the power to keep them out of unsafe situations.
Like Lily on Modern Family, Liam can be a runner at times, and I worry about his safety when we are out and about. What if I can't reach him fast enough? What if he gets lost? and some of the pros sounded like they may be just good enough to try it. What if all of those disgusted, dirty looks are unwarranted? What if the leash really is the best way to go? But then we went to a local park with a fountain for toddlers and babies, and all the evidence I needed to make an informed decision, was right in front of me.
Like all of the other kids at the park, Liam was playing in the water and running a muck. At one point, I noticed that he was playing with a little girl who must have been about a year old. I also noticed that the little girl was crawling around in the fountain attached to a leash. Liam kept trying to get her to follow him, and when the little girl tried she had to pull her mother along with her, which slowed her down considerably.
It wouldn't have been quite so difficult for her to keep up with Liam, if her mother were paying attention to her daughter and not having, what seemed to be, a very focused phone conversation. I realized that the mother wasn't even looking at her daughter most of the time. She even had her back to her on a regular basis. At this point, I realized that I was right about this topic from the beginning. At least for this mom, putting her child on the leash meant that she could take that phone call and ignore the actions of her child while she was playing. It helped her to be a lazy parent!
Every pro that was listed in the morning news segment is only present if the parent is still involved, and the observations that I have made do not support that this is the norm. Although this woman was the most blatantly distant parent, I have witnessed many similar situations: a child wearing a leash while climbing on a fence, the mom having a conversation with a friend, back turned from the child; a kid trying to pull their parent through the store, while the parent ignores them; (now this is gross) a baby eating something off the ground while the mother eats lunch. Obviously, it's not always safer for a child to be on a leash.These observations made me realize, that maybe lazy parents are not always the ones who pick to leash their children, but the leash gives parents a false sense of safety and security, so they become lazy and disinterested.
When at the park I discussed earlier, my husband and I were engaged in play with our son, we enjoyed observing his play with other children, we have memories of that day that make us smile. It makes me sad that the mother of the young girl doesn't have that. I came to the same realization at the end of this trip, that Cam and Mitchell came to at the end of the hilarious episode. Parents keep their children safe, not a leash. Safety is my number one concern for my son, and I believe that it is safer for me to be an interested and engaged parent than it is for me to put him on a "child safety tether".
 |
| Modern Family: the leash episode |
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Yet Another Choice
Written 6/26/12:
Earlier in my pregnancy, I discussed my reasons for choosing to give birth to my children in a hospital setting. After my last prenatal appointment, my husband and I discovered that where to have our little gummy bear wasn't the only birth-related choice we would have to make. Ever since I found out I was pregnant with Liam, I was terrified that I would need a c-section. I even went so far as to turn off A Baby Story whenever it followed a woman who was having one, planned or not. I hated the idea, but had a feeling deep down that it would end up being the way my son would enter this world.
I was right. Between being positioned in a complicated way, Liam having his daddy's head, and me being on the smaller side, having a c-section became the safest option after 24 hours of labor and two hours of pushing without progress. I cried through the whole procedure. I was so scared that something would go wrong and felt like a failure as a mother because I couldn't even push my kid out the "right" way. Once I saw my son and heard what my doctor had to say, those feelings were gone. I still feel guilty from time to time, but I know for a fact that it was what was best for my son and myself.
Soon after Liam's birth, I decided that I would like to try to have baby #2 naturally, if possible. I had already been told that many hospitals (including the one where my midwife practices) will not accommodate a vaginal birth after a c-section due to the risks to baby and mommy and the doctors that would be needed on call. Although this was frustrating, I didn't let that stop me from looking into the possibilities. I found out that OHSU and the McMinnville hospital are both open and equipped to give it a go.
I decided to ask my beloved midwife about what I would have in store, if I were to choose this route. I trust her opinion more than anyone else's when it comes to pregnancy, labor, and recovery. She is amazing! Unfortunately for my husband and I, at the next appointment, her partner in the practice had to facilitate my appointment. Even though I wanted Nan's opinion, I asked her associate about the possibility. She was so excited that we were interested and made it seem like a wonderful choice. We were pretty excited to hear that there may be a possibility for me to try again.
Luckily for us, we saw Nan in the hallway on our way out and mentioned our plan to her. Instantly we could tell that she was concerned. Within seconds, she gave us several reasons to think about the option more before making a decision. So we did. We read every article, every statistic, every personal post we could find, about having what is called VBAC.
It didn't take us long to realize that this was in no way the option for us! A VBAC requires constant fetal and mommy monitoring above and beyond the usual labor. There are sensors placed on the babies head throughout the labor and monitors covering just about every inch of my body. More than a couple of doctors and nurses would be involved, as well as several more on call in case of complications. If there is the slightest hiccup, the doctors will preform an emergency c-section.
My original thoughts were that having a natural childbirth would be more relaxing in some way, feel more "right", but a VBAC sounds like the opposite of that! I hate, as I always have, the thought of having another c-section, but my unborn child's health is far more important than my thoughts about "how things should be". A VBAC sounds stressful, uncomfortable, and in no way- natural. The thought of going through something like that without Nan, scares me more than I can put into words. I trust her with my life and (more importantly) the lives of both of my children, and if she were not there to help me through the process, I know it would be harder than I could bare.
There are also much higher risks for me and the baby, if something goes wrong. There is the risk that my uterus will rupture, causing severe blood loss and oxygen deprivation for my baby. This would require an emergency c-section and could carry even more risks for both of us. Every risk associated with a c-section is heightened if it becomes an emergency situation, and having a ruptured uterus and fetal distress carry even more risks. The risk of the baby having long-term neurological damage or even dying, are far higher if a c-section is needed after the VBAC process has begun.
For these reasons, my husband and I have crossed that option off the list. Having a VBAC would be a selfish thing to do, knowing that it could be harmful (or even deadly) for my baby. If I had one, it would be for me and my sense of pride, and that is not what is important. I will be having a scheduled c-section and for the first time, I am completely at peace with it. I know it is the safest decision I could make for my baby and myself. It's my job to protect him/her and this is just one of the first ways I will be doing that.
Earlier in my pregnancy, I discussed my reasons for choosing to give birth to my children in a hospital setting. After my last prenatal appointment, my husband and I discovered that where to have our little gummy bear wasn't the only birth-related choice we would have to make. Ever since I found out I was pregnant with Liam, I was terrified that I would need a c-section. I even went so far as to turn off A Baby Story whenever it followed a woman who was having one, planned or not. I hated the idea, but had a feeling deep down that it would end up being the way my son would enter this world.
I was right. Between being positioned in a complicated way, Liam having his daddy's head, and me being on the smaller side, having a c-section became the safest option after 24 hours of labor and two hours of pushing without progress. I cried through the whole procedure. I was so scared that something would go wrong and felt like a failure as a mother because I couldn't even push my kid out the "right" way. Once I saw my son and heard what my doctor had to say, those feelings were gone. I still feel guilty from time to time, but I know for a fact that it was what was best for my son and myself.
Soon after Liam's birth, I decided that I would like to try to have baby #2 naturally, if possible. I had already been told that many hospitals (including the one where my midwife practices) will not accommodate a vaginal birth after a c-section due to the risks to baby and mommy and the doctors that would be needed on call. Although this was frustrating, I didn't let that stop me from looking into the possibilities. I found out that OHSU and the McMinnville hospital are both open and equipped to give it a go.
I decided to ask my beloved midwife about what I would have in store, if I were to choose this route. I trust her opinion more than anyone else's when it comes to pregnancy, labor, and recovery. She is amazing! Unfortunately for my husband and I, at the next appointment, her partner in the practice had to facilitate my appointment. Even though I wanted Nan's opinion, I asked her associate about the possibility. She was so excited that we were interested and made it seem like a wonderful choice. We were pretty excited to hear that there may be a possibility for me to try again.
Luckily for us, we saw Nan in the hallway on our way out and mentioned our plan to her. Instantly we could tell that she was concerned. Within seconds, she gave us several reasons to think about the option more before making a decision. So we did. We read every article, every statistic, every personal post we could find, about having what is called VBAC.
It didn't take us long to realize that this was in no way the option for us! A VBAC requires constant fetal and mommy monitoring above and beyond the usual labor. There are sensors placed on the babies head throughout the labor and monitors covering just about every inch of my body. More than a couple of doctors and nurses would be involved, as well as several more on call in case of complications. If there is the slightest hiccup, the doctors will preform an emergency c-section.
My original thoughts were that having a natural childbirth would be more relaxing in some way, feel more "right", but a VBAC sounds like the opposite of that! I hate, as I always have, the thought of having another c-section, but my unborn child's health is far more important than my thoughts about "how things should be". A VBAC sounds stressful, uncomfortable, and in no way- natural. The thought of going through something like that without Nan, scares me more than I can put into words. I trust her with my life and (more importantly) the lives of both of my children, and if she were not there to help me through the process, I know it would be harder than I could bare.
There are also much higher risks for me and the baby, if something goes wrong. There is the risk that my uterus will rupture, causing severe blood loss and oxygen deprivation for my baby. This would require an emergency c-section and could carry even more risks for both of us. Every risk associated with a c-section is heightened if it becomes an emergency situation, and having a ruptured uterus and fetal distress carry even more risks. The risk of the baby having long-term neurological damage or even dying, are far higher if a c-section is needed after the VBAC process has begun.
For these reasons, my husband and I have crossed that option off the list. Having a VBAC would be a selfish thing to do, knowing that it could be harmful (or even deadly) for my baby. If I had one, it would be for me and my sense of pride, and that is not what is important. I will be having a scheduled c-section and for the first time, I am completely at peace with it. I know it is the safest decision I could make for my baby and myself. It's my job to protect him/her and this is just one of the first ways I will be doing that.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Pregnancy Addiction
Written 6/20/12:
Throughout my pregnancy with Liam, I had only one craving- milk. I drank about a half gallon a day, which is in no way normal for me. But I didn't really feel the whole "craving" thing. Based on TV shows, movies, and information given to me by other women about their pregnancy cravings, I felt like the milk thing was nothing. This pregnancy however, has been filled with firsts, including cravings.
For the past month or so, I have not been able to get enough fruit. Any fruit will do, I'm not picky, but I have to eat at least one a day. Lucky for me, it's the time of year where fruit is plentiful and there are several varieties to choose from. I have been taking full advantage of our local farmer's market, fruit stands, and the produce aisle at the grocery store. I hope that this craving doesn't continue into the winter, because I'm sure I will get pretty tired of bananas and oranges.
Yesterday, my mom brought me cherries picked from a friend's tree. They are my favorite, Royal Anne. She brought me a grocery bag filled with them! I was so excited that I got started on them right away, and couldn't stop eating them all night. Before cherries (and even still now), the cravings have included peaches, nectarines, apples, bananas, fresh pineapple, blueberries, strawberries, and plums.
I have always loved fruit, but this is crazy! I guess if I have to be addicted to something while pregnant, fruit is not a bad thing to "need". But after this, I sure hope that my cravings don't shift to something like fast food or candy, because it feels like eating what my body wants is like needing to breathe and I'm not sure I could say "No!" for very long.
Yet another addiction caused by my babies! : )
Throughout my pregnancy with Liam, I had only one craving- milk. I drank about a half gallon a day, which is in no way normal for me. But I didn't really feel the whole "craving" thing. Based on TV shows, movies, and information given to me by other women about their pregnancy cravings, I felt like the milk thing was nothing. This pregnancy however, has been filled with firsts, including cravings.
For the past month or so, I have not been able to get enough fruit. Any fruit will do, I'm not picky, but I have to eat at least one a day. Lucky for me, it's the time of year where fruit is plentiful and there are several varieties to choose from. I have been taking full advantage of our local farmer's market, fruit stands, and the produce aisle at the grocery store. I hope that this craving doesn't continue into the winter, because I'm sure I will get pretty tired of bananas and oranges.
Yesterday, my mom brought me cherries picked from a friend's tree. They are my favorite, Royal Anne. She brought me a grocery bag filled with them! I was so excited that I got started on them right away, and couldn't stop eating them all night. Before cherries (and even still now), the cravings have included peaches, nectarines, apples, bananas, fresh pineapple, blueberries, strawberries, and plums.
I have always loved fruit, but this is crazy! I guess if I have to be addicted to something while pregnant, fruit is not a bad thing to "need". But after this, I sure hope that my cravings don't shift to something like fast food or candy, because it feels like eating what my body wants is like needing to breathe and I'm not sure I could say "No!" for very long.
Yet another addiction caused by my babies! : )
Thursday, July 19, 2012
What No One Tells You About Pregnancy
Written 6/4/12:
This is my second time around, which has reminded me of all of the little things about being pregnant that I was not at all prepared for. Sure, everyone knows your going to gain weight, have to pee every 5 minutes, have a hard time sleeping, maybe even have morning sickness. But there are several symptoms, situations, and uh.....lets just say, after effects that no one deems important enough to share with you before hand. Here is my list of things that women need to know about pregnancy, that I wish I would have known.
#1- Not all ultrasounds happen as you see them on sitcoms: I was shocked....ok, horrified when my doctor explained that I was too early on and that my first ultrasound with my son would be an internal one. What?! I had no idea this was even a thing. The only ultrasound experiences I had ever been privy to included gooey gel on the belly. So comfortable and sweet looking. Nope. This is not the case if you get an ultrasound earlier in your pregnancy. Most done that early requires being done internally. It wasn't as bad as I thought, but it would have been nice to know ahead of time.
#2- Cramping doesn't necessarily mean a miscarriage: Before getting pregnant with Liam I read several books, countless blogs/advice posts, and magazine articles about early pregnancy. They all specifically made statements explaining the correlation between early cramping and miscarriages. This scared the crap out of me when at six weeks pregnant I started cramping excessively. This was made worse by the fact that I rarely cramp during my menstrual cycle, so not only were "experts" from all corners saying my pregnancy was doomed, but it was also extremely abnormal for me. However, my son is here, happy, and healthy and I have since learned that this is completely common in the early months. Your uterus is expanding to make room for the little visitor and the cramps are just part of the process.
#3- You never regain bladder control: This too was a shock! I have heard my whole life about the pressure your bladder feels while a baby resides near it (which makes perfect sense), but no one ever told me that knowing where a bathroom is would still be an issue months later. Also, beware of the sneeze-pee!
#4- Charlie-Horses: This was by far the worst symptom of pregnancy that I faced, and I didn't even know it was coming. It didn't start until about the 6th month, but from that point on I would wake up screaming and in pain several times a week. Joe had several sleepless nights because of my response, so maybe warn your husbands too.
#5- Your baby will be a literal pain in your butt: The siatic nerve is one that stretches from your back to the bottom of your leg. If your baby is sitting just right, they trigger this nerve and the pain can vary (in my experience) from slight aching to severe shooting pains in the rear. I have heard that it can go down the leg as well, but mine stayed put directly in the center of my right butt cheek. It felt like getting a shot constantly for weeks. Not fun!
#6- Swelling doesn't just happen to your feet: I had minimal swelling of the feet throughout my pregnancy with Liam. It wasn't until the week before he was born that I noticed my shoes didn't fit quite as well as they used to and my wedding ring was a bit snug. Actually, it wasn't until the day I went into labor that the swelling was really an issue. However, it took days to go away even after our little man had entered the world. My hands ballooned up to about three times their normal size, my face and arms followed suit. I felt bigger after labor than I ever did before hand. Great for your post-pregnancy self-esteem!
I'm sure that there are several more tidbits that I could add to this list, but they haven't been triggered yet. Once my little bean sprout starts making itself known I'll add anything that I think newbies should be aware of. Happy baby growing!
This is my second time around, which has reminded me of all of the little things about being pregnant that I was not at all prepared for. Sure, everyone knows your going to gain weight, have to pee every 5 minutes, have a hard time sleeping, maybe even have morning sickness. But there are several symptoms, situations, and uh.....lets just say, after effects that no one deems important enough to share with you before hand. Here is my list of things that women need to know about pregnancy, that I wish I would have known.
#1- Not all ultrasounds happen as you see them on sitcoms: I was shocked....ok, horrified when my doctor explained that I was too early on and that my first ultrasound with my son would be an internal one. What?! I had no idea this was even a thing. The only ultrasound experiences I had ever been privy to included gooey gel on the belly. So comfortable and sweet looking. Nope. This is not the case if you get an ultrasound earlier in your pregnancy. Most done that early requires being done internally. It wasn't as bad as I thought, but it would have been nice to know ahead of time.
#2- Cramping doesn't necessarily mean a miscarriage: Before getting pregnant with Liam I read several books, countless blogs/advice posts, and magazine articles about early pregnancy. They all specifically made statements explaining the correlation between early cramping and miscarriages. This scared the crap out of me when at six weeks pregnant I started cramping excessively. This was made worse by the fact that I rarely cramp during my menstrual cycle, so not only were "experts" from all corners saying my pregnancy was doomed, but it was also extremely abnormal for me. However, my son is here, happy, and healthy and I have since learned that this is completely common in the early months. Your uterus is expanding to make room for the little visitor and the cramps are just part of the process.
#3- You never regain bladder control: This too was a shock! I have heard my whole life about the pressure your bladder feels while a baby resides near it (which makes perfect sense), but no one ever told me that knowing where a bathroom is would still be an issue months later. Also, beware of the sneeze-pee!
#4- Charlie-Horses: This was by far the worst symptom of pregnancy that I faced, and I didn't even know it was coming. It didn't start until about the 6th month, but from that point on I would wake up screaming and in pain several times a week. Joe had several sleepless nights because of my response, so maybe warn your husbands too.
#5- Your baby will be a literal pain in your butt: The siatic nerve is one that stretches from your back to the bottom of your leg. If your baby is sitting just right, they trigger this nerve and the pain can vary (in my experience) from slight aching to severe shooting pains in the rear. I have heard that it can go down the leg as well, but mine stayed put directly in the center of my right butt cheek. It felt like getting a shot constantly for weeks. Not fun!
#6- Swelling doesn't just happen to your feet: I had minimal swelling of the feet throughout my pregnancy with Liam. It wasn't until the week before he was born that I noticed my shoes didn't fit quite as well as they used to and my wedding ring was a bit snug. Actually, it wasn't until the day I went into labor that the swelling was really an issue. However, it took days to go away even after our little man had entered the world. My hands ballooned up to about three times their normal size, my face and arms followed suit. I felt bigger after labor than I ever did before hand. Great for your post-pregnancy self-esteem!
I'm sure that there are several more tidbits that I could add to this list, but they haven't been triggered yet. Once my little bean sprout starts making itself known I'll add anything that I think newbies should be aware of. Happy baby growing!
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
I Want to be Like Them!
I have always had a huge place in my heart where people with disabilities reside. Since I was a little girl, my Grandma would take her daycare kids to the park to meet her sister (my Aunt Margie) and the disabled adults that she worked with. Having lunch with the amazing people Aunt Margie brought along, prepared me for a life of understanding and compassion for people who are in anyway different.I continued my wonderful experiences with my fellow high school students who had disabilities, as a peer tutor. This means that I spent a period everyday helping the students in the class with school work, life skills, and even got to participate in their P.E. classes. I still can't believe that I actually got credit for playing kickball with those amazing people!
In college, I had to participate in a Senior Capstone class. This was a requirement for all students to graduate. The Senior Capstone classes that we offered usually consisted of some sort of volunteer/community outreach program. Also, most of these classes were scheduled just as most college classes- meeting once or twice a week, for a three month term. Instead of choosing one of those classes, I opted to participate in a two week summer camp for teens with disabilities.
During those two weeks, I lived and breathed those kids! We helped them get ready in the morning, ate meals with them, participated in exciting camp activities (obstacle courses, fishing, hikes, canoeing, swimming, etc.), participated in plays, sang songs, etc. Those two weeks were the most emotionally and physically exhausting two weeks of my life (at least to that point), but it was also the most rewarding and life-changing two weeks I could imagine participating in.
After seeing the teens and their absolute love of life and their fellow man, I wanted to continue to keep that feeling going in my own life. I worked for a year at a middle school in the special education program. Once again, it was difficult and exhausting work, but the rewards that came with it were unimaginable! For the past few years, life has gotten in the way and I have had very few experiences with this amazing population. But last weekend that all changed!
I spent Saturday morning volunteering with my mom and my sister Mystery, at the Oregon Special Olympics which was held in Newberg. After just a few minutes of talking and interacting with the athletes, the rewarding feelings and excitement to have these people in my life, returned like a dam breaking. I loved every second of it! The amount of love and compassion that those wonderful people possess is nothing short of inspirational.
Every athlete that competed in the games was kind to one another, while still giving their all every time they participated. They cheered one another on (even those from other teams), they reminded each other of the rules without being rude or insulting, they smiled and showed great sportsmanship even when you could tell they were heartbroken at the outcome of the game. I wish everyone could be more like the amazing men and women I met over the weekend.
When I left the games on Saturday, all I could do was talk about how great of an experience it was. My husband (who had also participated in peer tutoring in high school) was soon convinced that he too should volunteer on Sunday. Although neither of us had signed up to be there, we showed up bright and early to offer our assistance. They were happy to have us, and day two was even more memorable than the last.
Joe and I had such a great time, that we have decided to continue this as a family tradition. We will volunteer every year from now on. When our kids are old enough to help, they too will participate. We both have a passion for this population, and we want to pass that on to our children as well.
Not only was this a personally valuable weekend, it may also turn out to be a professionally valuable weekend as well. I have always had the long-term goal to continue my education, and become special education endorsed. Since having Liam and continuing the reading endorsement, this has been put on the back burner and has slipped further into my pool of goals. But this is no longer the case!
Obviously it is still a long-term goal, but it has been renewed with a new passion and focus. I know that it will still take me years to get to the point of being endorsed, but it WILL happen. I still have to pass the reading specialist test (hopefully on Saturday), and there is the little human growing inside me which I'm sure will take a lot of my time, plus the two year old that is currently potty training and has his own opinions, not to mention my career and family. But the point is, it's once again on the list. A goal that I will focus on in the coming years. A passion that will be fulfilled!
In college, I had to participate in a Senior Capstone class. This was a requirement for all students to graduate. The Senior Capstone classes that we offered usually consisted of some sort of volunteer/community outreach program. Also, most of these classes were scheduled just as most college classes- meeting once or twice a week, for a three month term. Instead of choosing one of those classes, I opted to participate in a two week summer camp for teens with disabilities.
During those two weeks, I lived and breathed those kids! We helped them get ready in the morning, ate meals with them, participated in exciting camp activities (obstacle courses, fishing, hikes, canoeing, swimming, etc.), participated in plays, sang songs, etc. Those two weeks were the most emotionally and physically exhausting two weeks of my life (at least to that point), but it was also the most rewarding and life-changing two weeks I could imagine participating in. 
After seeing the teens and their absolute love of life and their fellow man, I wanted to continue to keep that feeling going in my own life. I worked for a year at a middle school in the special education program. Once again, it was difficult and exhausting work, but the rewards that came with it were unimaginable! For the past few years, life has gotten in the way and I have had very few experiences with this amazing population. But last weekend that all changed!
 |
| The Bocce Ball Field |
 |
| Mom keeping score |
Every athlete that competed in the games was kind to one another, while still giving their all every time they participated. They cheered one another on (even those from other teams), they reminded each other of the rules without being rude or insulting, they smiled and showed great sportsmanship even when you could tell they were heartbroken at the outcome of the game. I wish everyone could be more like the amazing men and women I met over the weekend.
 |
| Mystery trying to stay cool |
 |
| Our turn to play! |
 |
| Joe enjoying the games |
Not only was this a personally valuable weekend, it may also turn out to be a professionally valuable weekend as well. I have always had the long-term goal to continue my education, and become special education endorsed. Since having Liam and continuing the reading endorsement, this has been put on the back burner and has slipped further into my pool of goals. But this is no longer the case!
 |
| Taking a break between games |
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Birthing Choices
Written on 5/31:
Everyone has to do what is right for themselves and their family, especially when it comes to parenting. This post is in no way supposed to be a sermon about the "right" way to give birth (as if there were such a thing), but I just want to share my reasons for choosing to give birth to not only my son, but the one on the way, in a hospital setting and with a mid-wife.
There has always been a lot of talk about natural child birth, mid-wives, epidurals, c-sections, and so on. As a soon-to-be parent all of these choices and the opinions that surround them, can seem overwhelming and confusing. I believe that the very first rule about choosing your labor plan is deciding what YOU want. Once you know this, it's important to surround yourself with supportive people.
For my husband and I, the safety of a hospital setting was what we felt most comfortable in. My mom had some labor complications with two of her four daughters (one of them was me), and I just wanted the security of a highly trained hospital staff by my side in case there were complications with my labor. Also, I have friends who would not have their little ones today if they had not been in a hospital at the time of their child's birth. I know that this is not necessarily typical, but for me any risk was to high.
This turned out to be the best choice for us, considering my son was angled down and to the left, has a large head, and after hours of pushing was hopelessly stuck. When he finally made his debut, he had not only a large bruise but also a blister the size of a penny on the top of his head, thanks to all of my smoshing and squeezing. I don't know what would have happened to either of us, had we not been in the setting we were in.
I also liked the nursing support that was offered to me while in and even after leaving the hospital. Within an hour of my son being born a lactation consultant was there helping me and Liam figure it out. We had a rough start, so the support, encouragement, and expertise were really the only things that kept me going. Newberg hospital is so pro-nursing that they offer donor breast milk which has been processed and screened to make sure it is clean and healthy. Because we had to take advantage of this the first few days out of the hospital, I am confident that we would have had to supplement with formula had that option not been there.
To help me stick to my birth-plan and to feel 100% comfortable with any situation that arose, I wanted to choose a doctor that we trust and can rely on no matter what. For us, this was a mid-wife who had delivered two of my siblings and my nephew. It was nice to have a bit of a mix within the plan. We had the hospital setting, but the mid-wife running the show. This helped us to feel as though our wishes would be followed unless it was absolutely necessary to deviate from them.
She was more supportive than I could ever imagine, and when the time came to have a c-section, I was confident that it was not only the best option for me and my son, but the safest. I trust her with any decision, and if she tells me it's what's best for me and my baby, it's what I'm going to do! Having a hospital birth was not a difficult decision in any way. It was what was best for me and my baby boy. But choosing someone that you trust whole-heartedly was a far more important piece of the birthing puzzle.
Everyone has to do what is right for themselves and their family, especially when it comes to parenting. This post is in no way supposed to be a sermon about the "right" way to give birth (as if there were such a thing), but I just want to share my reasons for choosing to give birth to not only my son, but the one on the way, in a hospital setting and with a mid-wife.
There has always been a lot of talk about natural child birth, mid-wives, epidurals, c-sections, and so on. As a soon-to-be parent all of these choices and the opinions that surround them, can seem overwhelming and confusing. I believe that the very first rule about choosing your labor plan is deciding what YOU want. Once you know this, it's important to surround yourself with supportive people.
For my husband and I, the safety of a hospital setting was what we felt most comfortable in. My mom had some labor complications with two of her four daughters (one of them was me), and I just wanted the security of a highly trained hospital staff by my side in case there were complications with my labor. Also, I have friends who would not have their little ones today if they had not been in a hospital at the time of their child's birth. I know that this is not necessarily typical, but for me any risk was to high.
This turned out to be the best choice for us, considering my son was angled down and to the left, has a large head, and after hours of pushing was hopelessly stuck. When he finally made his debut, he had not only a large bruise but also a blister the size of a penny on the top of his head, thanks to all of my smoshing and squeezing. I don't know what would have happened to either of us, had we not been in the setting we were in.
I also liked the nursing support that was offered to me while in and even after leaving the hospital. Within an hour of my son being born a lactation consultant was there helping me and Liam figure it out. We had a rough start, so the support, encouragement, and expertise were really the only things that kept me going. Newberg hospital is so pro-nursing that they offer donor breast milk which has been processed and screened to make sure it is clean and healthy. Because we had to take advantage of this the first few days out of the hospital, I am confident that we would have had to supplement with formula had that option not been there.
To help me stick to my birth-plan and to feel 100% comfortable with any situation that arose, I wanted to choose a doctor that we trust and can rely on no matter what. For us, this was a mid-wife who had delivered two of my siblings and my nephew. It was nice to have a bit of a mix within the plan. We had the hospital setting, but the mid-wife running the show. This helped us to feel as though our wishes would be followed unless it was absolutely necessary to deviate from them.
She was more supportive than I could ever imagine, and when the time came to have a c-section, I was confident that it was not only the best option for me and my son, but the safest. I trust her with any decision, and if she tells me it's what's best for me and my baby, it's what I'm going to do! Having a hospital birth was not a difficult decision in any way. It was what was best for me and my baby boy. But choosing someone that you trust whole-heartedly was a far more important piece of the birthing puzzle.
Friday, July 13, 2012
Who to tell?
Written 5/29/12:
One of the hardest decisions to make when you find out your going to have a baby, is who to tell and when to tell them. My husband and I have very different opinions on this question. He, being someone who thinks quite logically and puts a great deal of thought (and an hour of pondering) into which light bulb to choose, strongly believes that we should wait to tell anyone until we get through the "dreaded" first trimester. He has some pretty sound reasons for this. Well one, sound reason to be more precise: if anything happens and it doesn't work out, he doesn't want to explain it over and over again.
I on the other hand, thought of this exact situation as a reason to tell those who are closest to us. I know that if something were to happen to this pregnancy, I would want to talk to my mom, sisters, and closest friends. I would want their support through what I'm sure would be, the hardest thing I would ever have to go through.
But how to decide who "wins"? This is such a difficult decision either way. I too can see where my hubby is coming from. I wouldn't want to have to explain a miscarriage to my co-workers or have awkward moments at the next family gathering. He could also see my side of the coin as well. Even with these main points in mind, there is always the excitement of the situation. It took almost all of my willpower to not shout it from the rough tops the second I saw the little pink plus sign.
After much discussion, we decided to meet somewhere in the middle. We agreed to tell close family and a select few friends early on, I plan to tell a couple of my co-workers right before school ends, and the rest of our family and friends once we reached twelve weeks. This way we have our life-line and support, but also protected ourselves from any possible complications.
This worked very well for us when I was pregnant with Liam, but it didn't come without stress. When you choose to tell a select few a very exciting secret, you always worry that the news will leak. Social media can add a little something extra to this. All it takes is one little slip-up and the whole world knows! Once again, we got very lucky last time and this didn't happen in our situation. Telling the people in your life that you are expecting is a personal decision that has to serve your purpose. It wasn't easy to choose a path, but it was the right one for us.
One of the hardest decisions to make when you find out your going to have a baby, is who to tell and when to tell them. My husband and I have very different opinions on this question. He, being someone who thinks quite logically and puts a great deal of thought (and an hour of pondering) into which light bulb to choose, strongly believes that we should wait to tell anyone until we get through the "dreaded" first trimester. He has some pretty sound reasons for this. Well one, sound reason to be more precise: if anything happens and it doesn't work out, he doesn't want to explain it over and over again.
I on the other hand, thought of this exact situation as a reason to tell those who are closest to us. I know that if something were to happen to this pregnancy, I would want to talk to my mom, sisters, and closest friends. I would want their support through what I'm sure would be, the hardest thing I would ever have to go through.
But how to decide who "wins"? This is such a difficult decision either way. I too can see where my hubby is coming from. I wouldn't want to have to explain a miscarriage to my co-workers or have awkward moments at the next family gathering. He could also see my side of the coin as well. Even with these main points in mind, there is always the excitement of the situation. It took almost all of my willpower to not shout it from the rough tops the second I saw the little pink plus sign.
After much discussion, we decided to meet somewhere in the middle. We agreed to tell close family and a select few friends early on, I plan to tell a couple of my co-workers right before school ends, and the rest of our family and friends once we reached twelve weeks. This way we have our life-line and support, but also protected ourselves from any possible complications.
This worked very well for us when I was pregnant with Liam, but it didn't come without stress. When you choose to tell a select few a very exciting secret, you always worry that the news will leak. Social media can add a little something extra to this. All it takes is one little slip-up and the whole world knows! Once again, we got very lucky last time and this didn't happen in our situation. Telling the people in your life that you are expecting is a personal decision that has to serve your purpose. It wasn't easy to choose a path, but it was the right one for us.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Sitting, Waiting, Wishing
Written May 28th:
This isn't just the title to an amazing song, it's what Joe and I have been doing since December. When Joe and I decided we wanted to start a family, we had to work hard for it. I'm a teacher, and because I wanted to make the most of my time at home with my future baby, we felt as though we were on a pretty tight schedule. Lucky for us, Liam was on his way right away. It only took us one month, and we were future parents. This time it was a bit more complicated. We are in a much better situation financially, so time of the year didn't play quite as much of a role, but it was still a consideration.
The new factors to consider were the short-term disability policy that we took out after the first of the year. For the policy to kick in, we had to wait at least a month. We did. When the month was over, we were still in the process of a renovation project that was taking place in Liam's room, which meant he was sleeping in our room. We got creative, but with all of the stress associated with a toddler in your room, plastic and dust filling your house, and a bit of potty training, the end of that cycle didn't come with news of a little sibling for our big guy.
The next chance we got, we put a little more effort into it. But once again, no dice. Between preparing for the party of the century (otherwise known as Liam's 2nd Birthday) and studying/taking an assessment that could change my career path, we once again didn't get the outcome we were hoping for. Life had gotten in the way of our efforts twice, and I was starting to get a bit discouraged.
I have known many people who have had far worse luck with conceiving, so I tried to keep my emotions in check and my hopes high. It just seemed so much harder this time around. As I said before, Liam happened the first try, and that was the only experience Joe and I had with this process. Lucky for us, the third time was the charm! We found out mid-May that we would be welcoming a new member to the family some time in January.
I learned a great deal throughout the many months that baby #2 took to prepare for, plan for, and try for and I think that I appreciate this pregnancy and the work it took to achieve it, more than I did with the last. I have already been reminded, that nothing having to do with little ones goes as planned....they make sure of that!
This isn't just the title to an amazing song, it's what Joe and I have been doing since December. When Joe and I decided we wanted to start a family, we had to work hard for it. I'm a teacher, and because I wanted to make the most of my time at home with my future baby, we felt as though we were on a pretty tight schedule. Lucky for us, Liam was on his way right away. It only took us one month, and we were future parents. This time it was a bit more complicated. We are in a much better situation financially, so time of the year didn't play quite as much of a role, but it was still a consideration.
The new factors to consider were the short-term disability policy that we took out after the first of the year. For the policy to kick in, we had to wait at least a month. We did. When the month was over, we were still in the process of a renovation project that was taking place in Liam's room, which meant he was sleeping in our room. We got creative, but with all of the stress associated with a toddler in your room, plastic and dust filling your house, and a bit of potty training, the end of that cycle didn't come with news of a little sibling for our big guy.
The next chance we got, we put a little more effort into it. But once again, no dice. Between preparing for the party of the century (otherwise known as Liam's 2nd Birthday) and studying/taking an assessment that could change my career path, we once again didn't get the outcome we were hoping for. Life had gotten in the way of our efforts twice, and I was starting to get a bit discouraged.
I have known many people who have had far worse luck with conceiving, so I tried to keep my emotions in check and my hopes high. It just seemed so much harder this time around. As I said before, Liam happened the first try, and that was the only experience Joe and I had with this process. Lucky for us, the third time was the charm! We found out mid-May that we would be welcoming a new member to the family some time in January.
I learned a great deal throughout the many months that baby #2 took to prepare for, plan for, and try for and I think that I appreciate this pregnancy and the work it took to achieve it, more than I did with the last. I have already been reminded, that nothing having to do with little ones goes as planned....they make sure of that!
Monday, July 9, 2012
Gummy Bear
For the first year or so after Liam was born, I thought I was good with one kid. The tremendous amount of responsibility and protectiveness I experienced were overwhelming. I knew that I would love my little man more than anyone who has ever lived, but I was in no way prepared for the flood of worry, happiness, exhaustion, and pride that I would feel. It was scary. I always worried about him. It never got to the point (or anywhere near it) that I wouldn't let others hold him, watch him while my husband and I went out, or follow him around making sure he never experienced life on his own. It was more of the in the middle of the night fear of: is he breathing? did he get enough to eat today (while nursing)? what if something happens when he's at the sitter's? I worried about how I would keep him safe constantly.
As with every mother, the worst tragedy you could ever imagine, is loosing your child(ren), and that stress that I put myself through made me believe that another child would be completely out of the question. I often wondered how others did it. How do they have more than one to protect and still stay sane? I love my son with all of my heart and soul and bringing him into this world was my best and proudest accomplishment, and I know I would feel the same way with another, but how could I possibly go through all that fear and worry all over again?
Luckily for me, my son, and my husband, those fears (although still very much there) began to be more manageable and less constant. The idea of having a second child became more conceivable and then eventually became exciting. The one point that absolutely made the decision for us, was that neither of us want Liam to be an only child. We want him to grow up with a brother or sister with whom he can share his childhood with.
We began working on plans for a second child in December. Knowing we had a few things to do before-hand we started planning far earlier than we did with Liam. After everything was in place, we began "trying" the end of February. We took the whole "If it happens, it happens" stance. About a month and a half of that without a baby and I became incredible impatient and we stepped up our game. With Liam it took one month to get pregnant, so this trying thing was new to us and a bit frustrating.
In mid-May we got the news we were hoping for! We were finally expecting a sibling for our little man. I am now almost 12 weeks along and very excited to be done with the first trimester. Although we were not quite ready to share the news with the world before this point, I have been writing posts throughout the pregnancy that I will be sharing with everyone. I'm a little nervous, very happy, and more than a tad exhausted, but I can't wait to meet our little gummy bear!
As with every mother, the worst tragedy you could ever imagine, is loosing your child(ren), and that stress that I put myself through made me believe that another child would be completely out of the question. I often wondered how others did it. How do they have more than one to protect and still stay sane? I love my son with all of my heart and soul and bringing him into this world was my best and proudest accomplishment, and I know I would feel the same way with another, but how could I possibly go through all that fear and worry all over again?
Luckily for me, my son, and my husband, those fears (although still very much there) began to be more manageable and less constant. The idea of having a second child became more conceivable and then eventually became exciting. The one point that absolutely made the decision for us, was that neither of us want Liam to be an only child. We want him to grow up with a brother or sister with whom he can share his childhood with.
We began working on plans for a second child in December. Knowing we had a few things to do before-hand we started planning far earlier than we did with Liam. After everything was in place, we began "trying" the end of February. We took the whole "If it happens, it happens" stance. About a month and a half of that without a baby and I became incredible impatient and we stepped up our game. With Liam it took one month to get pregnant, so this trying thing was new to us and a bit frustrating.
 |
| My due date is extra special, it's also my dad's birthday! |
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)