Nolan's 1st Birthday Party: One Year and Ten Days in the Making

Big Brother!

Every mommy dreams about, and dreads their child's first birthday. Party planning tends to be one way to bury the sadness that your baby is growing up. Nolan's first birthday came with an extra side of sorrow, when I realized that it fell on a conference day (meaning I would be working through the evening hours). Knowing that this is probably our last, first birthday party and that his actual birthday would be one I would spend away from him, I went full force into making his party a special day for both my boys, as well as Joe and I.

Cookie Decorating Table

I spent over a month planning for Nolan's big day. We came up with the perfect theme, and created several crafty projects to make the day fantastic. We were all looking forward to it......then life happened. Three days before Nolan's party, Liam got a fever. We had planned to go out on a family field trip the Friday before the party, since we wouldn't be able to celebrate on the big day. Because of Liam's fever, we stayed home. We kept hoping he would get better in time, but when Saturday rolled around and he was still feeling crummy, we decided to cancel. It was one of the hardest decisions I have had to make so far.

Gifts!

Every one of Liam's birthdays have been awesome. Joe and I have taken the day off every year to do something fun, and his parties have always gone off without a hitch. Now, poor Nolan. Mommy works 10 hours on your birthday (the first one!), then we cancel our family outing, now the actual party! It made me feel horrible!

Snacks!

Joe was fantastic in helping me see that we could salvage the situation. We quickly came up with a plan to reschedule for the next weekend (in between two other birthday parties). We were so lucky that everyone was able to come, even with the very short notice. Then life hit again. One week, to the day, of Liam's fever beginning, Nolan started acting uncomfortable. We were going to have this party, even if it meant that I would give flu shots, antibiotics, and vitamin C as party favors, so we rushed him to the pediatrician to try to get him healthy ASAP.

Nolan's cake

We were relieved (as relieved as you can be to hear that your child is sick), to find out that he had an ear infection and would be given antibiotics to help kick it in the rear. At least he wasn't contagious and we could treat it! By the time his party rolled around, his ear infection was better, but the antibiotics were making him quite sleepy/spacey. We had his party and it was awesome, even if he looked like a zombie the whole time.

Thank you to everyone who joined us in celebrating our Teddy Bear's first birthday! It meant a lot to us that you changed your plans, just for him. We have such amazing people in our lives!

The Red-Eyed Return

Back before Liam was born, there were two years when a mysterious and persistent rash occurred around my eyes. Both years, the redness began right around the holidays: the first, the week before Thanksgiving; the second, on Christmas Eve. The rash began the same way, a pin-prick sensation all over my eyelids-top and bottom. The intensity of the pin-pricks quickly went from an annoyance, to a burning sensation. It felt as though the skin around eyes was sunburned and chapped. They were dry, peely, and sometimes swollen.

My dermatologist, primary doctor, several specialists, an ophthalmologist, and my Thyroid doctor, all tried to figure out what could be causing this occurrence, as well as a treatment which would cure, or at least, help treat it. I went through countless topical ointments, natural lotions/creams, allergy tests, and even a biopsy, with no sign of relief or answers. After 6 months (the first time), the rash went away on it's own. We may have done something that helped, but no one knew what. The only thing that seemed to help, was to be on prednisone, a strong steroid, with many side-effects. Even several rounds of this only eventually worked(?).

The next year, when it happened again, we were ready with the steroids, but still had no answers. The second time around, it only lasted for three months. Only three months!?! Only three months of looking and feeling horrible. Only three months of even more stares than just being bald warrants. Three months of sick days, missed family functions, and hiding out in our apartment. I'm used to looking "different", I'm used to the stares, but the pain of the cold, the wind, the light, were so horrible that all I wanted to do was hide out.

The next year, I was pregnant during the holiday season, and like my other auto-immune "issues", pregnancy seemed to hold off the red mask. I flinched at every tingle or dry patch the next year, but nothing came. Same for the next. Then another pregnancy. I was just starting to feel comfortable. Big mistake! I was just starting to think that something might actually have gone away on it's own. That maybe, just maybe, alopecia, eczema, allergies, and a wonky thyroid might be enough for one person to handle.

I was wrong. Over the weekend, I felt the familiar tingle. I tried to head it off with benadryl, lots of eye-approved, all-natural lotion, and extra care to not touch my eyes. It didn't work, and every day since, it has gotten worse and worse. Yesterday, was horrendous! My first day back with my students, and my eyes were sore, red, dry, heavy, and swollen. Just walking to the door of the school was a painful errand, with the cold and the wind stinging with every step.

Since Nolan is still nursing, even the ointments and steroids that helped in the past, are not an option. So, I continued to be proactive. I have put lotion on my eyes every hour or so. I take benadryl at night before I go to bed (since that's when my eyes tend to swell), and again when I wake up (to correct the swelling that has still occurred), and I am washing my hands constantly. Today, I am much better. Still red, a little sore, and the tiniest bit swollen, but I feel as though I have just a tad of control over the situation.

Although I am quite aware that I have no real control, and body will do what it does, I at least feel as though I am making progress. Hopefully, being persistent will have it's payoffs.

Limbo

Selling our house was the best choice for our family, both financially and for our future comfort. Renting hasn't been as difficult as we thought. We really like our rental home, the neighborhood is awesome, and the space has been wonderful. The difficulty with the situation lies with this feeling of being in Limbo.

Before deciding to selling our home, our family had spent almost a year being 100% focused on reducing debt, budgeting, living on less, and preparing for our future. We did a very good job at it too. When we sold our home, things got busy, jumbled, lost in the shuffle. We have done a very good job sticking to our monthly budget, even through all the craziness. However, all of our extra money is no longer going towards debt, it's sitting in our bank account waiting to be our down payment.

I never, ever, thought I would say this, but I miss putting every extra penny towards our debt. It felt so amazing to know that with every month, we were one step closer to our financial goals. It was also wonderful to see the changes in our family while working toward these goals. My husband and I became closer, we are now a true partnership, and since money/things were no longer the focus, our kids benefited from more time/effort/attention. It was awesome!

We have still carried these priorities with us into the rental, but since our focus is different, it feels different. We are ready to get back on track, but to do that we need to find our home. This is a bit of a chore in that, we don't want to rush our decision, the buyers market is quite slim, and we are still very unsure of the area we want to live in.

Wish we could focus on both

We have considered staying in our rental for a year or two, to help pay down debt, really take our time finding our forever home, and figure out what we really want, but we have quite a few big issues with this option as well. The commute is horrible for Joe, our rental costs as much as our previous mortgage (especially with the added commute for both of us), and most of all, we want to be settled for our boys. Liam starts kindergarten in a year and a half, and we want to be where we are going to be by then. Also, moving has been hard on Liam. He still says that he misses our old house, he asks to paint/decorate is current bedroom, and he misses Sherwood.

We don't know where we will end up, or where we want to end up, but one thing is for sure...it's not Limbo!

Highlights of 2013

When I woke up this morning, it hit me just how awesome 2013 has been for our family. We have had so many amazing people enter our lives, created wonderful memories, met tremendous goals, and have overcome huge changes. All of these experiences have made 2013 a fantastic year! To celebrate, and take a trip down memory lane, I made a list of the top 25 things that happened over the past year.

Nolan's Birthday

1. First and foremost, our Teddy Bear was born!
2. We paid off a car and part of a student loan.
3. I passed my Reading Endorsement test.
4. I was the Matron of Honor in Staci's wedding.
5. I was asked to be the Matron of Honor for a childhood friend-Emily.
6. I ran my first 10k and 5k.
7. We had our first Big Brother Date night.
8. Emily came to visit.
9. We went on our first vacation as a whole family: Cannon Beach.
10. We sold our house.

Our last photo in our old house

Rum Run 2013-1st 10k

Visit w/Emily

11. Desi and Mikey got engaged! Welcome to the family Mikey!
12. I realized a new career goal, and took steps to reach it.
13. Walking/running/raising money for several worthy charities.
14. Liam started preschool.
15. Having months of memories with Joe's Grandma Ida, before her passing.
16. Completed the Color Run with my sisters and mama.
17. Seeing a love of reading develop in our boys.

Cannon Beach Trip

Big Brother Date Night

Color Run 2013

18. Threw a fantastic surprise party for  Joe's 30th birthday.
19. Watching Liam run/complete his first race.
20. Celebrating the holidays with family that we don't get to see often enough.
21. Joe got a raise and recognition for his hard work.
22. Liam's first Christmas program.
23. Reaching our down payment goal, and beginning the search for our forever home.
24. Enjoying rare snuggles and open-mouth kisses with Nolan Theodore.
25. Sharing experiences with all of our amazing family and friends!!

Surprise!

First day of Preschool

Here's to an awesome 2013, and an even better 2014!

March for Babies 2013

Preschool Christmas Party 2013

Dreaming of a Kid Christmas

Remember the days when Christmas was nothing but presents, family, parties, and sleigh bells? I do. Vividly. This year, I realized just how different the holiday season is for adults. Although I still absolutely love this season, it's just not the same. Some parts are even better: like seeing our boys get excited about every little thing that the season has to offer. But other parts are so very different. This is the first time in my life, that I'm not particularly excited about Christmas day. I am for the boys, but not personally excited.

Since Liam was born, Joe and I have made every Christmas about him. The focus of the holiday has changed from gifts and parties, to visits with Santa, letter writing, baking, and decorating as a family. These are the new parts that I adore. This is Nolan's first Christmas, and I was raring to go, to make this year as special for him, as it has been for his brother. Then life happened.

We are still working to make this the best Christmas we can. We are trying to keep our stress under-wraps, so that the boys will have similar memories to mine. I don't know how my parents pulled it off every year. Making us think that everything came together perfectly without effort or frustration, and filling our home with the Christmas spirit, even when I'm sure there were moments of craziness. Joe and I are trying.

Hopefully, a magical Christmas memory

In the past few days things have gone off the deep end. We finished all of our shopping early, and had all the supplies needed for the gifts we would be making, but actually making the gifts, and wrapping other packages has proven to be much more work than we seem to have the energy for. It didn't help that we put everything off until Friday. Now we are overwhelmed. Saturday, things got more complicated, when Joe noticed a huge gash on one of our cat's back. When he rushed her to the emergency vet, they said that she was dehydrated, her levels were far from normal, and that the gash would require surgery. Awesome!

He picked her up from the emergency vet late last night, then took her to our regular vet today, who told us that there isn't enough skin left to surgically repair the gash, so we have to let it heal naturally. Not a horrible thing, except she has to stay away from kids and other pets, and be calm for 2-3 weeks for it to heal correctly. Double awesome! I'm not even going to get into the amount of money we had to shell out (of course, well worth it).......perfect timing.

On top of our cat-astrophy, the stress of scheduling Christmas with three families, while trying to keep Christmas day low-key for the boys, wrapping, baking, cleaning, shopping (the usual holiday chores), Liam is now sick. He has been coughing non-stop since yesterday afternoon. All he wants to do is lay around and snuggle, and for anyone who knows him, they know that's not abnormal. I hope that Liam and Nolan don't see our frustration; I hope that they will remember a magical Christmas full of love and fun. I hope that we are as good at shielding them from our adult-issues, as my parents were for me.

A November of Blessings

Every November, people on Facebook and Twitter post what they are thankful for daily. Although I love the thought that goes into these posts, and the fact that it reminds the writer of how wonderful their life truly is, I find it a bit.....ah.......redundant. So, I have decided that, to get the same reflection and reminders, I will do this on my blog instead of making people read what I am thankful for each and every day. Instead, each day of the month, I'll take a quick second to add to this post, then I will post the whole list, just once. I hope I remember!

Day 1: I am thankful for my amazingly sweet, smart, adorable, hilarious, baby boys. They have created my most cherished of memories, make each day, the best of my life (so far), and make my future something to strive and look to with great excitement. I have always been driven, but they give me even more motivation to be and do everything I can to make my life, and theirs, as wonderful as possible. I love them more than anything!

Day 2: I am thankful for the wonderful friends we have gained throughout the years. Everyone says, "It's better to have a few great friends, than many." As I have gotten older, I have realized that it is actually better to have many people to lean on and share memories with. Since my boys entered my life, I have gained many amazing friends, who love and support me and my family. Without them, I would lose my mind!

Day 3: I am grateful for my ability to be home with my boys, as well as continue to nurture my passion for educating young minds. I love that I have never felt like I have to choose between the two, letting my lifelong dreams go when my boys entered my life, or feel as though I was leaving my children to be parented by others. I get the best of both worlds, and for that I will always be thankful.

Day 4: My husband. He has, not only, been my best friend for 13 years, my husband for 7, and the father of my two babies, but he has always done an amazing job of supporting me. He bends over backwards to help me reach my goals, he runs himself ragged trying to make the most of our situation, squeezing every drop out of his and my paychecks to help us reach our goals. And even though, as we get older, our views on some topics no longer are in line with one another, we still know how to see eye-to-eye when it comes to our kids, our goals, and our future. I love you Loaf of Bread Head!

Day 5: Today, I am VERY thankful for my career, and the amazing people that I teach alongside. Sometimes it's hard to be thankful for the extra work and stress that comes with my job, but today, I was reminded (as I am periodically), that what I do everyday is worth the time, stress, and effort. One of the best parts of my career path, is the little reminders that pop up now and then. I was in serious need of one, and I got it!

Day 6: My mom. I can call her for any reason, at any time, day or night. She has always supported me and my boys. I love you Mom!

Day 7: On the same note, my Dad. He has taught me to be responsible, money-smart, forgiving, driven, and happy with what I have, when I have it. I love you Dad!

Day 8: Second chances. Everyone deserves them, if they put the effort into earning them. I'm so appreciative that I have received them, and that I am in a position to give them.

Day 9: Lazy days. Our family tends to have a very busy schedule. Most of the time, we love it. We fill our days with love, friends, family, memories, and experiences. However, today is one of those rare days, where we get to sleep in, snuggle on the couch, enjoy our morning cup of joe, watch a movie as a family, and play together. It sure is nice, once and in awhile.

Day 10: I am thankful that we are able to fill our home with things passed down from the family that we love and have lost. Our living room is now home to a chair from my Grandma Darlene and Grandpa Bill (with another to be upholstered in our garage) and a table from Joe's Great Grandma, in our dinning room sits a table from Joe's Grandma Ida, and in our garage are several items from Joe's Grandpa Ted that bring back wonderful childhood memories. We are so lucky to have these wonderful items to remember them by.

Day 11: On Veteran's Day, I'm thankful for veterans. Specifically, my Grandpa Vince and Joe's Grandpa Ted (both of our boys received their middle names from these wonderful men). They fought for our country in WWII, on either end of the battle. My Grandpa in Normandy and other European countries, Joe's Grandpa in Japan. Both came home, but were never the same. Their families saw first hand, how war can affect someone, even if they are not killed in battle. Today, I am thankful for men and women who fight for our country, and come home, never to be the same. These are heroes that tend to be overlooked, because people believe that they did not give the "ultimate sacrifice". To these people I say, of course they did!

Day 12: I'm thankful for Assessment days. They give me a chance to catch up on all the little things that get forgotten while teaching 99 kiddos. On the other hand, I loath the day after assessment days......grading 99 assessments. Arg!

Day 13: Preschool Art Projects. Every week or two, Liam brings home a stack of adorable, educational art projects that he creates while at school. I love to see what it is he does all day, and I love seeing/hearing his excitement, as he shows me his creations and explains what each squiggly line and every paint blotch represents. Not to mention, the feet and feet of blank wall space that these projects will fill.

Day 14: I'm thankful for wine. That is all.

Day 15: Apologies. Without them, hurt feelings would last forever, and wonderful relationships would crash and burn.

Day 16: Having ten amazing months (so far) with our little Teddy Bear. Time is going so fast, and right now, I'm thankful that he isn't a year old yet. I can still call him my baby, and have it be true. Happy 10 month B-day baby boy!

Day 17:  I know that I have already said that I'm thankful for my hubby, but I'll be more specific. Today I'm thankful that he not only deals with my horrible moods, but does everything in his power to make my day better. Ex. He helped me do the dishes, laundry, and give the boys their baths, then poured me a big glass of wine, and is now working on a yummy dessert. I'm so stinkin' lucky!

Day 18: Tissues. When there are two fountains of snot running around your house, tissues are not a luxury, they are a necessity.....and I'm thankful I have a stockpile.

Day 19: Coffee creamer. After nights like last night, wake ups like the one I had this morning, and a stack of assessments to grade, the deliciousness that is white chocolate peppermint, is the only thing that gets me going.

Day 20: Our comfortable (yet temporary) home. I know that we are extremely lucky to live in a nice home, in a nice neighborhood, where safety is not a concern, and our neighbors are friendly. On that note, we are missing our old neighbors from Lynnly way. I think a visit may be in order!

Day 21: "Adult Time". After a super long, very stressful day, I'm very thankful for the hour or two (or three), that Joe and I get to ourselves at night. Although I should spend some of this time sleeping, on days like today, staying up way past my usual bedtime, is far more relaxing.

Day 22: 10 day weekends! That's right folks! I get all of Thanksgiving week off. I can't wait to spend every morning, relaxing and enjoying my adorable little guys.

Day 23: Good listening days. Liam was A-MAZ-ING today! We had playdates, went to a Christmas bazaar, and went to a restaurant for dinner (which are usual crabby-pants triggers), and he was awesome! He even took a nap......alone......on the couch!

Day 24: Catch-up Sundays. Laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, picking up, couponing, naps, vacuuming, sweeping.......None used to warrant getting excited about (and really, they still don't), but when you have neglected these chores for a whole week, it feels mighty good to get them done!

Day 25: Watching my oldest boy and his daddy, play catch with his new football (a gift from self-proclaimed "Papa Mark"-one of Joe's co-workers). One of the most heartwarming things I have ever seen!

Day 26: 4 am nursing sessions. I NEVER thought I would say that, but at this point, less than two months from Nolan's first birthday, I have realized that they won't be happening soon. I'm so lucky that I have been able to nurse two beautiful boys, and I appreciate that I had that time to bound with them, now more than ever. It has it's moments of frustration (using my lunch to pump), uncomfortable moments (Mastitis), and times where you wish that you weren't "just the food source", but overall, I wouldn't give it up for anything! I will miss it when it's gone, so today I'm thankful that Nolan dragged me out of bed at 4:45.

Day 27: History lessons with Grandpa. My Grandpa Dale loves genealogy, and has worked very hard to find out all he can about his family's background. Every time we visit, he tries to share more information with me, but having two small boys in tow, tends to make it difficult to sit and listen, read, explore the articles/pictures/family trees, that he has collected. Today, I was able to sit and do these things for quite a while. I was able to hear stories about Grandpa's hometown, his schooling, friends, and family. It was so wonderful to hear about his life, and my background.

Day 28: Thanksgiving! I'm thankful for several things today. Seeing family that live both near and far, turkey, my dad dating an awesome cook, silly smiles from my boys, Grandma's deviled eggs, being woke up to "Happy Turkey Day Mom and Dad!", bonding with Lissy over $3 movie bins, my warm bed, and by default (because I the one I purchased was not yummy), Dutch Bros. coffee. A random bunch of stuff, I know, but all thanks-worthy today.

Day 29: The smell of Christmas trees, beautiful lights, holiday music, festive drinks, my boys' smiley faces as we decorate for the best time of the year, yet another, of Nolan's "firsts", and family love.

Day 30: On this last day of Thanks, I'm thankful for the life I live. My family, friends, career, pets, blessings, and trials. Everything I have been through has brought me to this exact place in my life, and I couldn't ask for anything more. I love my life, and the people in it!

Happy Thanksgiving!

                                             

New Home Dangers

Yet another aspect of moving, that my husband and I did not consider before the move, was all of the hidden dangers that would pop up for our kiddos. When your babies grow into big kids, you tend to baby, toddler, and big kid proof as you go. Each stage brings new chores that will help your little ones stay safe in their home. When done this way, you don't notice just how many adjustments you make. When you move, those dangers start popping up again, but this time, it's usually when something dangerous has already happened. For this reason, I felt that I needed to share some scary stories, to help other parents who are on the move, to think ahead, and not deal with the high blood pressure and grey hairs (figuratively of course) that I have acquired.

When we were settling in, we did all of the obvious preparations to keep our boys out of dangerous situations. We installed a gate at the top of the stairs, anchored the hutch and the stove to the wall, put a lock on the cupboards housing chemicals, and plugged every outlet with a cover. However, it is quite obvious that we missed a few horribly vital things. Here are my horror stories.

About two weeks after moving into our new house, Liam almost feel from the top of our stairs. He has been more than capable of walking up and down the stairs alone for quite some time, so we didn't give the issue a second thought when moving in. However, after I caught him tumbling down, Joe and I took a second look. We realized that these stairs are steeper, and more narrow than our last ones. I know kids fall, and his little trip may be nothing more than that, but it's also good to be aware of these minor changes.

Also, in our last home, we had door nobs. Liam tried with all of his might, but was unable to open our doors. The new house has door handles. I'm glad that the house came equipped with out of reach locks, because Liam can open any door in this house. This was apparent a couple of days after moving in, when we found him skipping up and down the stairs leading to our front door, alone.

I have saved the scariest, and most horrifying tale for last. Just the other night, I was getting dressed after a shower, when I heard a huge crash. I ran to Liam's room (Joe and Nolan were playing in Nolan's bedroom). When his doorway came into view, all I could see was his tall six-drawer dresser laying on the floor. I have heard several horror stories about babies/toddlers being crushed by furniture falling on them. Of course, that's all I was thinking in the seconds it took to reach his room. This horrible feeling was made worse, when I entered his room, and Liam was no where in sight. I was sure that he was laying under it, critically hurt, or worse.

Then I heard him whimper, and he stepped out of his closet. All I could do was cry and hold him. All he could do was sob. It was the most terrifying moment of my life, and as it seems, his too. In our last home, we had anchored his dresser to the wall the second he started moving, but when we moved, this task was lost in the shuffle. We are lucky.

Don't make these mistakes! Check, and double check the safety of your new home (rental or not). I'm sure that there are even more precautions that we have forgotten, and I'm also sure that our active three year old, and our newly mobile ten month old, will be happy to show us the error of our ways in due time.